This first blog is an introduction to my mind, and how it came to the decision to do this. The star in the upper left hand corner reminds me that I am a star. I can do this.
I have to start now.
Yesterday, sitting on my butt, once again, I decided that now is the perfect time to dust off my willpower and use it again. I still have it. It's packed neatly in the little box in the corner of my room where I can always see it. I know it's there, I know I have it and can use it whenever I want--I just don't use it. That's sad.
I know people must look at me and judge. People must look at me and think, "She loves food and that is why she is fat," or something along those lines. I used to be one of those people. I still am in some ways. I wasn't always this way, and I didn't become fat because of poor food choices or over indulgences. This is not to say that I don't enjoy the occasional dessert--everything in moderation. Energy in, energy out.
Medicine can do a lot of things to our bodies. It can helps us and change us. It changed me. Someday I will come back to address this, but right now it's not important. It's in the past. Because my weight gain happened in a short amount of time, my self image is askewed. I still think that I am thin and fit. It's been a few years and I still think of myself as being thin. I am still somewhat shocked everytime I do laundry and fold my undies. It's funny how our mind plays tricks on us. I know and can feel that my metabolism has normalized, so I know I can do this without anything working against me now. Keeping this blog will help me to keep myself in check and to keep my willpower from collecting dust.
There are a lot of obvious reasons to lose weight, but I really want to have another baby someday, but not while I am obese. I don't want to be mistaken for a "rollie pollie" again. That hurt. I want to have another baby when I am in my early 30's and healthier than I am now. I want people to know that I am pregnant, and not guess. I may not look "obese," but I am according to the numbers. Don't obsess over numbers. I know it's easier said than done.
Everyday in 2009 I am going to exercise somehow, shape or form. I have experience with exercise physiology and used to train extensively so I know what it will take to get me to that place again. I used to be really fit and knew what I was doing when it came to cardiovascular exercise and strength training. I kept detailed logs, which I still have detailing every exercise, RPE (ratings of perceived exertion), intensity, duration, repition and set that I did. I even logged my cardiovascular training. I used to be in the 98th percentile of VO2 uptake in my age group. I mention this, because reading this for myself, I can see that I can do this. I am not going to set a time limit, but I am going to do something consciously and active everyday. I can do this.
There are a lot of technicalities that I am going to skip as I don't need to prove anything to anyone. I know what I know and I can do this. I appreciate any and all prayers and encouragements you may have.
I can do this, I am a star.
After
Posts
