Day 79 (day 2 / week 12)

O.M.G. that was hard (Turbo Jam's Punch, Kick & Jam)! I was able to keep up better today without the distraction (God bless his little heart). I am extremely sweaty and so happy to do that workout! I know that I am going to have great results with it, and I love how energetic it is and Chalene is. She totally helps you through it (mentally).

Punch, Kick & Jam is a lot more challenging than the other Turbo Jam workouts I have done so far, and I'm glad. I'm not saying the other ones are easy-peasy, but I don't sweat like this with them.

Anyway, a few days ago I mentioned something that I discussed with my MIL, that I wasn't ready to mention here. Well I guess there isn't going to be a better time, and maybe a lot of you can relate. Maybe coming out will encourage some and make you feel like you aren't alone in this battle.

Hi. My name is Melissa Henning and I am addicted to refined sugar (I said yes to most of these things).

This isn't to say that I eat brownies all day. Or candy. Or ice cream (it's not allowed in the house or I would! lol). Or even table spoons of sugar lol. It's not to say that I will eat an entire box or batch of cookies. I just always have it in my life. Always.

I know it's not a big deal, but I never realized how much I really enjoy my sweets, and baking a lot. I realized this looking at my diet as a whole and trying to cut it out of my diet. Looking for nutrient dense foods, and foods that are lower in calories or low in fat and higher in protein (just depends). Sugar really packs in a lot of unnecessary calories in my diet, and since I cut it out of my diet (it's only been a few days) I have lost 3 lbs. It could be water weight (probably), but I haven't seen a jump like that, on my scale (my current scale) ever! (I need to throw that thing away btw).

For the past few months, since it was mentioned to me in a comment, I have been using sparkpeople.com, but not obsessively inputting my food (just my exercise), until lately. I was packing in almost 600-800 calories--sugar calories here and there and not even realizing it, or I would put aside healthier foods because I knew I wanted to have a brownie or something later! I NEVER enter it into sparkpeople, and when I look back on my days, the days I have only eaten 330 or 500 calories, it's because the rest was something I was ashamed to admit, unconsciously (lol). I feel like I am lying now that I am aware of it, and not inputting it. Now when I want something sweet, I take a tsp of honey. It's sweet enough to knock out my sweet tooth, and leaves me satisfied. If I'm not, then I take 2. A serving size of honey is 1 TBS and is 60 calories. There are 3 tsp in 1 TB. My MIL went through this years ago when she was on the .brain.fart. Prism Diet, and honey helped her. She was a lot worse when it comes to sweets though, she was a hardcore addict, so much so that she still can't touch sweets, because she says she cant just eat a bite, but will eat it all.

I'm not saying that the reason why I'm not losing weight, is because I eat sugar, but maybe part of it is. I know that muscle is heavier than fat and that I am using weights daily (my sculpting gloves) and doing squats and lunges, so I am getting slimmer, but staying the same weight. I know that is fine, but it really bothers me that I am *so close* to 200 lbs, and I can't quite get there. Now that exercise has become apart of who I am, on a daily basis, I need to start thinking about what I put into my body more. I need to appreciate the body that God gave me more, and feed it correctly (again, not that I eat junk all day--I don't). I know some of you will be concerned, some of you wont care either way, and some of you may be right there with me. This isn't to say that I am going to go wacko about it and not eat foods with it in there--I am just not going to cook/bake with it anymore, or at least for a while, until I know I don't need it (I have never wanted to need anything) and I am not going to buy things to specifically satisfy my sweet tooth (even if they are those 100kcal packs).

Sugar isn't the only thing I have changed either. I am forcing myself to drink no less than 8 glasses of water a day (no more soda--but I have been doing that for almost a month now) and I eat 2 cups of salad (no dressing--my preference because I'm not a big fan) with every meal. Yes, even including breakfast.

I feel much better making these changes, just in the last few days...even being sick (my cold is almost gone btw...). I am proud that I am finally jumping on this bandwagon, and now that I have honey, I don't feel like I am depriving myself (when i tried to cut it out cold turkey, w/out honey, I honestly couldn't and didn't want to do it).

Sorry for the long blog entry! I hope you all have a great Friday. This weekend I am going to experiment with my hubby's phone (since his web access isn't limited), and post a blog entry that way, because I will be without the internet for, quite possibly, a while (until we have jobs which we still don't have!).

Make today count! It feels great, I promise!

I can do this. I am a star.