Day 2

2 sets 10 reps squats

10 lunges on each leg

It's only day 2 and I already almost blew it. lol. It's 10 pm and I'm trying to get a fussy baby to bed, and I realize out loud to Hubby, "Awe man! I didn't exercise." He just laughed.

I thought I would do something a little less ambitious for day 2 and do squats and lunges, but as you can see, I didn't do a whole lot of either. I am really hoping that it won't be painful to walk tomorrow though. *whew* I'm out of shape and 20lbs heavier than I was the last time I blogged here (if I remember correctly). Surprisingly, I have already lost 20lbs since the baby was born though (yaay!).

I changed the name of my blog because during my first 365 day spurt of exercise, my favorite verse got me through almost everyday (Philippians 4:13). I know that not everyone that reads this blog shares my faith, but I think that we all share the bigger message that my favorite verse holds true to--that there is something greater out there than all of us (chi, karma, God, Christ, spirituality, faith, flying spaghetti monster... whatever you believe and want to call it), and we can find power in it, to find the power in ourselves to do anything we set our minds to. My faith does this for me, and it's a big part of who I am.

Off to bed. I hope I can walk in the morning. My quads are already sore! *yikes!*

All things in Christ who gives me strength!

Day 1

20 minutes -- Turbo Jam's 20 minute workout

Happy New Year!!

It's been quite a while since I have posted and a long journey in 2011. Some was a struggle but things happen for a reason--good and bad--and all that matters is what we take from it to grow and learn.

In 2011 I attempted this goal again (365 days of exercise) but got pregnant. I stayed positive and continued to exercise, and then it looks like I fel

l off the face of the earth. Not quite, only the blogosphere. I successfully exercised up until my 6th month of pregnancy (26 wks to be exact) and went into preterm labor and then my doctor pulled the plug on exercise. It was a total STRUGGLE. I guess it was one of those I'm-not-allowed-to-do-it-so-now-I-really-want-to things. The doc had me on meds to stop the contractions from coming on, which dropped my blood pressure (which is already pretty low), and I just didn't feel that great for the end of my pregnancy.

Baby M, 3 days old

Baby M was born 1 week early at 8lbs 1oz on Dec. 9, which puts me now, at about the 3 week mark since I have given birth (naturally and successfully w/out any complications to myself or the baby). The doctor told me to not exercise until 6 weeks after birth (or do anything else for that matter) but I feel great, and so I am choosing to exercise at my own discretion, at a low intensity until given full approval (all things in Christ), then I will kick it up a notch and attempt to exercise 5+days a week. I would say 365 but I am still working full time 12 hour shifts so we will see what I can do, God willing. Of course I will stop if I can't do it (immediate health first!).

I missed Turbo Jam. A LOT. I don't know if it's sleep deprivation or if I am just a whack-a-do for TJ, but I super missed it. I missed the music, and making a fool out of myself in the privacy of my own living room, with distant giggles from my soon to be 5 year old, while the baby (now 3 weeks old) quietly sleeps in the sleeper in the living room close by.

It's good to be back.

I have gotten a lot of emails from you guys and I am sorry that I am poor at following up with them. I appreciate the well wishes and I promise to keep more on top of it this time around. I have also gotten a lot of questions regarding the HCG diet, which I will do again after I finish breastfeeding--however long He allows my body to do it for (all things in Christ) or until the baby bites me a few times. ouch!

As far as the HCG diet, for now, here is a link from an episode from Dr. Oz (it's a 5 part web episode) , talking about it, to answer any questions you may have for now. I'm not ready to go all out and talk about it now, as it's not really apart of my life now, but it will be, soon, one day again. I will say that I was successful with it and had no health problems/complications from it and my general practitioner is on board w/ it also--it's not a long term thing. Ten days into my 3rd round I got pregnant, so I stopped the diet when I found out.

Anyway that's all for now. I'm tired and the baby is going to wake soon. I am hoping that these blogs won't be so long, so that I can be successful with them also.

Here's to a successful new year!

All things in Christ who gives me strength!

Day 2 *fart noise*

So today is day 2, and I have to say it was not that bad, even with having to work.

I got home from work and Hubby and Monkey Boy were both ready and willing to let Mama have the TV for exercise. Of course this didn't mean that they weren't going to be entertained by my exercising. I decided to do the Wii Fit today, because I thought today was a rest day on EA Active Sports, so I threw on the Wii Fit and started off w/ the body test (my Wii Fit age was 32--same as my real age), and did some strength training. I did:

Rowing Squats, 10 (100%) and then 30 (100%) and
Torso Twists, 3 (94%) then 6 (92%).

This is where the boys got their entertainment. They both thought it was totally necessary and EXTREMELY funny to make fart noises as mommy did the rowing squats. Wow. I sure do fart a lot (I think hubby was more into it than The Monkey Boy!). :)

Then I did some of the games:

Obstacle Course, Beginner--453 yards
Bird's-eye bull's-eye--184 points
soccer heading--65 points and
3 rounds of penguin slide (I think it was 3. it was either 2 or 3--mommy brain).

In all I did 21 minutes. Not a lot, but not bad considering I have been at work since 6am and didn't get home until close to 7pm.

I headed over to EA Active Sports to log in my journal (side note: I made a short term goal to follow through exactly with what EA Sports has planned for the 30 day challenge--I have yet to complete it, the way it wants me to so here goes nothing!) and saw that today was NOT a rest day like my hubby insisted. I plan to do it (fingers crossed) after the Monkey Boy gets tired of the Wii Fit. I just hope it's not too late. If I don't get to it, I'll just reset it again so I can do a pefect 30 days lol (can you guess how many times I've reset it? lol).

I feel pretty good today. Not nearly as sick as I was, so the antibiotics are definitely helping. I'm not as sore as I though I would be either. Just a little ache, but nothing that screams at me. I am proud of myself for not lagging after I got home from work. Yaay me!

Have to work again tomorrow, but I'll be back.

I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength! (Phil 4:13)

Day 1...oye.

Happy New Year!

Oh my gosh, I can't believe how much I dread typing this! I' procrastinated this ALL day. It's not hard, I just don't want to do it. Can't ya'll just read my mind so that I don't have to type this?? There is so much that I want to express, that I just get frustrated (not the right word--I just want to procrastinate...more), because I can't spit it all out fast enough, so I'll make this simple...after all, I have 365 days to do this.

I am going to do 365 days of exercise again. Yep. Again. I did it once before, I can do it again. Right? After getting exercise out of the way to type this now, I wonder if I can. I went through all of this before, so I know that I can do it. I know my legs are going to hurt tomorrow, and that will make the excuses easier to come. Bring it. One day at a time. Right? Looking at it now, I wonder how I am going to do this, becuase of some of the plans I have (more on those later) but I will just look at it one day at a time. God gives us the strength to do what we gotta do, right?

2010 was great, but it went by so fast and I am now disappointed that I didn't make every day count, the way I did in 2009 with exercise and this blog. My motivation back then, was my blog (at first). The only reason why I exercised, was to have a blog post for that day, but now I don't even want to blog, so I have to find the motivation for that, now too. I hate typing. *shrugs*

I am not doing 365 days of exericse, to lose weight--the diet I found and mentioned previously has been much more of a success in that department, but I miss how exercising regularly made me feel. Exercising is awe inspiring and it feels great when you are on a roll with it. It's just hard to get the momentum going at first. I want to be in that place again. I'm afraid that 2011 will go by just as quickly, and I want to be conscious of doing something daily, that is beneficial (I also plan to read the Bible daily). I don't want to cheat myself of time again (that makes it sound like I did absolutely nothing in 2010, doesn't it? lol).

Anyway, today I exercised. I am sick (on antibiotics) but forced myself to exercise. I slept most of the day but turned on EA Active Sports at 8:30 this evening (low intensity). I exercised for almost 20 mins an burned over 100 calories. Not great, but a start.

Have to work in the morning, so it will be interesting to see how this goes. I told Hubby that I would do the Wii again, but we'll see! Oye.

Anyway, hope you all had a happy and safe New Year celebration.

I'll be back tomorrow...oye.

Heres to a great 2011!

I can do all things in Christ who gives me strength! (Phil 4:13)

Excuses, excuses and more excuses

So it's been like a month since my last post, and I have gotten so far behind in updating here, that I don't know where to start.

I have been exercising at least 4-5 times a week, no less, sometimes more. I am averaging 12k-13k steps at work, and I have been sick twice in the last 3 weeks (son got a cold, then me, then son again, then hubby and now me again). I'm sick right now. I even look sick, which isn't very nice to hear, when you spent over an hour putting on war paint, and primping. lol. It's kinda funny at the same time though. It's not a head cold so I am laying off of the exercise till it goes away.

I did most of the 30 day challenge for February on the Wii EA Sports Active, but missed a day (a work day) and it threw me off on the "game" and so I started it over again in March, but missed 2 days because of being sick/work schedule. My son stopped taking naps during the day and so my "me time" is gone as a result. Lots of excuses I know. Now that it's written and I can visualize my wall, I think I can start to chop away at it. Maybe I need to use a calendar and schedule things in. Regardless, I need to do something because I am gaining weight again. I need to start w/ the measurements and do it all again like I did during my 365 days of exercise in 2009. I can do this. I know that I can.

I also started a bible study with my MIL on Wednesday nights, which I won't be able to do the next 2 Wednesdays because I am working. I need to make my relationship w/ God a priority again and I think that just in general I just bit off more than I can chew for the moment. Exercise is still very important though.

I know that I am not eating enough, but it's so hard to eat when you're busy, and food is the last thing on your mind. AND my oven doesn't work. It is a broiler. I burn anything and everything I put in it, and it makes the thought of food annoying for me, becuase the oven heats at over 550F when set at 300F (my thermometer wont register anything over 550 and the numbers weren't slowing down before it got to "high"). More excuses. I think I am cranky too, so I am venting... sorry.

Anyway I need to go to bed. I feel pretty crappy. I thought I would just pop in to say "hi" while my water is heating up for my theraflu.

I promise to pop in again soon.

Thanks for sticking with me! You guys are great.

I can do this. (I did once before!) I am star.

Day 365 (day 1 / week 52)

Well I did it. Today was a workday and I forgot my pedometer at home again (doh!). It was much busier than last week so a safe estimation of 13000 steps wouldn't be pushing it. My arms are also still a little sore from Wii Baseball yesterday...which I love.

So there you have it.

365 days of exercise.

I did it!






















It wasn't a great feat because it was a bunch of small "make it counts" in a row. That's all you gotta do with anything big. Break it down into smalls. Think of it like a huge hunk of meat. You don't just inhale the entire thing. You break it down and work on it piece by piece.

You can totally do it if you are wondering.

I have a toddler, a job (a very physical one at that!), I work 12 hour shifts, I used to be a stay at home mom, and have a busy life. I even moved across state and sprained an ankle. I got a dog, had to give her up and was adopted by a strange pizza eating cat. I suck at replying to emails, comments and everything else that is bloggy related, I have issues managing my personal time, and I procrastinate BIG TIME, so this totally proves that I am just like everyone else (although you might be waay better at these things, than I am! sorry again!), with a normal life. I also heart sugar. yummy yummy sugar. *drool*

I have learned a lot and I had a vision of writing down a ton of things/goals that I had achieved throughout the year, but I'm tired.

I will tell you however that I am going to continue and focus on the things that I brushed aside or didn't try too hard with this year, because I didn't want to get overwhelmed and quit. I can totally do more than 10 mins a day now, so that will change. I also want to focus on strength training a lot more and my eating. I did HORRIBLY the past 2 weeks w/ my diet, but the rest of the year wasn't as bad as it could have been. This proves to me that focusing on what I eat is a must, if I want to lose weight. MORE weight. I probably gained 10 lbs in the last 2 weeks just eating whatever I wanted. I don't feel like I was owed it, but I spent a good portion of this year being "good" so I just let lose. Tomorrow that will change. Back to focusing and back to the basics. I also want to lose more weight in 2010 than I did in 2009.

That being said, I (really want to cry) decided to commit to something for 2010 that I have been dreading, but it is inevitable. I have issues w/ it and it needs to stop. I am in total denial and think "why the heck would I do this," but I need to. It's an addiction talking. I'm talking about sugar...again.

In 2010 no more sugar. Anything I see as a threat to this, I won't eat--including diet soda *cry*. I keep reading that there is a relationship between sugar cravings and diet soda, so I am just going to cut them both out. I know I am not strong enough, but I realize that God has given me HUGE amounts of strength and determination to do something hard for 365 days in a row (I'm not stopping people!) that I know that with His strength, I can do this. No sugar for 2010. I ate a good-bye brownie at work. It's going to be hard, but I know I can do all things in Him who gives me the strength to do it (Phil 4:13)! So can you!

My work schedule is crazy for the next few days. I work on the 1st, 3rd, 4th and 6th, until I get back to my usual Sunday, Monday, Tuesday schedule. I do have a 1 day off in there, twice, but it's not enough for me to rest up, do measurements and all of that and get stuff done to be ready for work the next day, so I probably wont be posting any results until the 8th. I will post results for the entire year and all of that good stuff :). I don't think I did my first measurements in January until the 10th or 11th anyway, so it's all good.

Have a good night and a safe new year.

Thank you all for your support and patience with me. You all have blessed me in so many ways. I wish I could hug you all--including all of you lurkers! You bless my socks off!

((HUGS))

In 2009 I exercised 365 days in a row.

I CAN do this. I am a star!

Day 281 (day 1 / week 40)

I just finished level 1 of the 30 Day Shred. I am well on my way to being shredded. (lol I crack myself up).

I am honestly kind of surprised that I dusted off that exercise DVD and actually did it (36 minutes including my own extended cool down). My legs are buzzing right now. I am also kind of surprised that Jillian didn't bug me this go around either. I must be growing as a person or something like that, to not let juvenile things bother me like they did before. OR maybe she's growing as a person, and she just learned not to bug me this go round. This is serious stuff. You can't commit to an exercise plan *cough* DVD and be bugged by your trainer. I say this knowing fully well that it's a DVD, and... and well if you didn't get this whole spew, just forget it. It's one of those days and I'm in one of those moods. I heart Jillian. She is good peepz. I really appreciate how committed she is. She knows this is serious stuff (;)). I don't think she bugs me anymore. Until level 2, when she says something about the bathing suit thing (?). lol

I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I got a new HRM. It was completely unexpected, and my hubby's idea. We were at Kohl's last weekend with the in-laws and he found a New Balance N2 HRM on clearance for $40. It has all of the features I am looking for (Chronology, continuous HR, calories burn as modifiable workout zones). It also has a lock button, so when I am doing push ups, I don't accidentally stop my HRM from recording. It has a different chest strap, and it feels more comfortable for the most part. Today is the first day taht I have taken it for a test spin. It said that in the 36 minutes that I did the 30DS, lvl 1, I burned 261 calories. I can't seem to find anything in any of my previous blogs telling me how many calories I burned doing this back in June (the last time I did the 30DS).

I was going to wait to start the 30 DS, but I keep thinking about a challenge that was set out on the 30DS group on sparkspeople, to do it...but it was the schedule that got me. This is what my plan is, but I really don't know how it's going to happen on work days. I will probably have to make some adjustments, but am going to really give it a college try to do at least one of the 3 levels on my work days:

OK here your challenge...IF YOU DARE.

OCTOBER

1 - Level 1
2 - Level 2
3 - Level 3
4 - Level 1 & 2 Yikes!!!
5 - Level 2 & then 1

6 - Level 3
7 - Level 2
8 - Level 1
9 - ...boo baby! Level 2 & 3
10 - Level 3 & then 2

11 - Level 2
12 - Level 1
13 - Level 3
14 - Level 1 & 3
15 - Level 2, 3 & then 1

16 - Level 1 & 2
17 - Level 2 & 3
18 - Level 2 & 1
19 - Level 2 & 2 again!
20 - Level 1, 3 & then 1

21 - Level 1, 2 & 3
22 - Level 3, 1 & 1 again
23 - Level 3, 2 & 1
24 - Level 3, 3 & 1
25 - Level 3, 2 & 3 IT'S ALIVE!!!!

26 - Level 1
27 - Level 2
28 - Level 3
29 - Level 2
30 - Level 1

31 - HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! LEVEL 2, 2, 2




For beginners or for those who think this is a bit much...then follow the 30DS the way it was intended. You do Level 1 for 10 days, move onto Level 2 for 10 days and then do Level 3 for the last 10 days.

JUST SO YOU ALL KNOW...I'LL BE TAKING THE 30DS CHALLENGE ALONG WITH MY CURRENT PROGRAM!!! MU HA HA HA HA...I'm anxious to see how this goes.

I think doing it this way will keep me from getting bored. I want to see if I am up to it, so I am gonna try! Today is my "day 1" so I did level 1. Tomorrow level 2 and so forth.

Speaking of commitments, I made a new/old commitment today, which is killing me, which tells me that I am SOOO needing to do this. A spark-friend, posted a blog about a 100 day challenge to not eat sugar. I decided to join the challenge with her. I already had a cookie today, so tomorrow is my official start day, which will make Jan 18 my last day of the challenge. It's one day AFTER my son's 3rd birthday, and I was bummed to think that I am not going to have cake with him, but there are worse things. He could have a really fat/miserable mommy on his birthday stuffing her face with cake, or a happy/fit/healthy mommy who will be happy to pass up the slice. Right now I feel like the first mommy. I know that will pass, and I'm not miserable, but I miss sugar. Already. (this is how I know I have a problem again lol).

Anyway, it will be interesting to see what this month brings. Halloween too!! Yikes! What a scary (no pun intended--well maybe just a little) time to quit sugar! I can totally do this. Both of the challenges! I'm not trying to convince ya'll that I can, but maybe myself a little. I know I can do all things in Christ who gives me the strength to do it though, so I'm set and confident. I can TOTALLY do this. Both of them.

Bye, bye sugar!
Welcome back Jillian!

lol

Tomorrow I have to take Pebbles to get spayed... 8am, almost 1.5 hours away in Pahrump, NV (where the shelter's headquarters are that we got Pebbles from). Please pray for my son, that he will know enough to leave her alone during this time, so she doesn't feel tempted to play and rip her stitches (and for patience for me, to deal with them both). A few years ago my mom's old bf had a dog that had just gotten spayed, and I guess she went and played after she got home, played too hard and her stitches ripped open, and her insides came out. He shot her there on the spot because there was nothing he could do for her. I know this wont happen to Pebbles, but I just really hope my toddler monkey boy leaves her alone and understands us enough to know this is REALLY important to let her heal.

Hope you guys have a great day! Make it count!

I can do this. I am a star.

Day 247 (day 2 / week 36)

4.25 miles (w/ the monkey boy).
92-94F (praise God for the mini breezes He gave).
1132 calories (according to my HRM w/ new batteries. yaay!).
92 minutes--including a 10 min cool down.

I can complain about the heat, or quip about the much needed breezes, but today I decided to share a major source of my motivation and inspiration. This lives in me and drives me.

Today I was surfing Sparkpeople and came across the Motivator of the Day's profile, and found the scripture that started it all. I have talked about it, but couldn't find the exact scripture. The one that makes me feel guilty for being overweight, but the one that gives me strength through it all (combined with my favorite Phil 4:13), and the one that feeds the hunger to be healthy and teach my family to be healthy. Sure, I have a desire to be healthy, but I NEED to be healthy, because it's what He wants me to do:

1 Chronicles 28:10
Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work.

God has given me the strength to do this. I end everyday with "I can do this. I am a star," because he told me I can do this, if I do the work. He also tells us that we can do all things in Him because He gives us the strength to do it (Philippians 4:13)! God is just so awesome because He promised me (you, all of us) that he would be our strength, if we do it! I can totally do this. I am doing this. You can totally do this, and a lot of you are! THAT is SOOOOO inspirational and motivating to me.

My measurements:

Measurements: (day 247 / day 213 / day 10) (- "/# lost in current month)

Wt: 187.8 / 192.0 / 215 (-4.20) (total lost 27.2#)
Chest: 37.25" / 37.5" / 43.75"(-0.25") (total lost -6.25")
Waist: 32.25" / 32.5" / 41.5" (-0.25") (total lost -9")
Hips: 42" / 42" / 47.75" (-0") (total lost -5.75")
Neck: 12.5" / 12.75" / 14.25" (-0.25") (total lost -1.55")
Under bust: 31" / 32" / 36.75" (-1") (total lost -4.75")
1" below belly button: 38" / 38" / 47.5" (-0") (total lost -9")
Above my thigh: 37" / 37.75" / 44" (-0.75") (total lost -6.25")
R Thigh: 19" / 18.75" / 27" (+0.25") (total lost -8.25")
L Thigh: 19" / 19" / 27.5" (-0") (total lost -8.50")
R Calf: 14" / 14" / 14.5" (-0") (total lost -0.50")
L Calf: 14.25" / 14.25" / 14" (-0") (total lost -.25")
R upper Arm: 10.5" / 10.5" / 14" (-0") (total lost -3.5")
L upper Arm: 10.75" / 10.75" / 13.5" (-0") (total lost -2.75")
R wrist: 5.50" / 5.75" / 6.25" (-0.25") (total lost -0.5")
L wrist: 5.75" / 5.75" / 6.25" (-0") (total lost -0.5")

Jan 2009

Feb 2009

March 2009

April 1, 2009

May 1, 2009

June 1, 2009

July 1, 2009August 1, 2009

September 1, 2009

In August 2009 I lost 4.2 lbs and 2.75 inches (gaining .25" on my right thigh lol).

I don't really feel anything either way about the inches lost (or gained) or the pounds lost. I'm just glad that I am still losing. I feel blessed and a huge sense of accomplishment looking at my beginning measurements, and my now measurements. I think at this point in the game, I can see the results better in the picture as well, and I am pleased for the most part :) (disappointed with the camera--we used my iphone, instead of the camera, because the batteries for it are perma-dead). I am not surprised about the gain in the legs...err leg because I can see baby hamstring hills sprouting! lol. It makes me smile :).

I will probably do some cleaning after posting this. Don't know if I'll count it or not, but I just might on SP, just to add the calories into the mix, so that I can be sure that I am eating enough.

Will be back tomorrow after I make it count! Hope you are doing the same. He wants us to AND He promised to be our strength...we just have to do the work! So awesome! Sweet!!

I can do this. I am a star.

Day 194 (day 5 / week 28)

Today I was very productive. I wanted to walk, but the Monkey Boy didn't, so I just did some videos at home, and did my Quickfire Challenges (QFC) for today.

I pulled out an oldie but goodie and did Turbo Jam's Cardio Party and Ab Jam, back to back (65 minutes, 805 calories). I forgot how much fun Turbo Jam is! My legs are still a little sore today, but doing TJ felt like I was stretching my legs more than hurting them. It felt great! All of the kicks and stuff, PLUS I wore my HRM for the first time with it (I think) so I was able to see that it actually was a pretty good workout.

I felt like I had a lot of energy, and when the "turbo" segment came around, I still had energy to go! I felt so blessed when I finished, like God's joy and energy was just radiating from me. If my heart could cry, it would have (tears of joy, of course!).

After TJ I ate something and moved onto the 2 QFCs for today. I did them both back to back, and it took me 15 minutes total to complete them (129 calories). The first is a Side Lunge with Windmill Arms, which I did as fast as I possibly could (for the sake of cardio and burning calories). This also felt like a stretch to my legs, which felt great. The second was seated leg extensions again (no weight), which I could do pretty easily. I did these the other day, and I felt like I needed that rest after my set (25 i think). Today I did 2 sets of 50, of both of those exercises (100 total of each) and felt like I could do more. Maybe I will, if I find myself starting to fall asleep (I swear I can't not sit on the couch, or lie on my back w/out falling asleep).

I have a lot of energy now and it feels great, considering this morning I was tired, cranky and didn't want to exercise. It's funny how getting up and doing something totally changed my moral. If I didn't do something, I probably would have had a blah day, AND I wouldn't have felt God's strength and joy run through me (so awesome!). I am on Stage 3 of the lifestyle changes that Sparkpeople help us work through, and one of the things I had to do was find an inspriational/motivating quote, and I always think of it--especially today. You guys have heard me say this before, "I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives me strength." It's my favorite bible scriputre (Philippians 4:13) and my inspriational quote. Man, just think of all of the possibilities! It gets me pumped and gives me energy.

Find a motivational and/or inspirational quote and apply it to your lives everyday. Print it out and put it somewhere that you can see it and read it everyday. I'm telling you, faith like this with something that motivates you can move mountains! It will surely help you to make each and everyday count!

I can do this. I am a star. SO ARE YOU!

day 135 (day 2 / week 20)

Today I started off my workout (Ramp It up from Slim in 6) with the word of the day, from yesterday, resonating in my mind....boredom. If I think I'm going to be bored with my workout, then I'm going to be bored with my workout. Why am I letting myself be self defeating? I am a star! I can do this and have been doing this! I know I can do this!

With that attitude in mind, I didn't focus on the workout anymore, but on my body. My muscles. My movement. My breathing. The task at hand. I just closed my eyes and focused. You'll be surprised with what you can accomplish when you approach every task with this kind of focus. Before I knew it, I had done every single second of Ramp It Up, as if I had been doing it for a month straight...including those tedious leg lifts! I did EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM--IN A ROW! I definitely felt the burn, but that burn just made me focus even more!

The moment I decided to let go of the workout and focus on my body, my entire focus of the workout changed. I am no longer thinking about the mundane and monotonous workout--the time that it takes to complete it, but that the more I do this, the stronger I am going to get.

A friend of mine that lives next door to my in-laws here in Vegas, runs every Saturday morning with her "running group." When we first moved here and she saw that I had been losing weight, she asked me if I wanted to go running with her. First I thought, "wow that would be a great way to lose this weight faster" but then reality set in and I kind of chuckled in the back of my head thinking, "that's a good one, a fat girl 'running.'" But instead of saying "no," I said, "when I have a pair of running shoes that fit me w/out causing pain, I will go running with you," knowing fully well that that wasn't going to happen. I think it was the next weekend that my MIL bought me these shoes (I love them so much!).

I saw my friend the week after I got these shoes and I was still on the high from being able to fit in these shoes, that I mentioned to her that I had them now. Well she invited me then. The idea of going to run, is more exhilarating to me at this point, than doing it. I am scared! She said she would email me some information and we left it at that.

Two days ago I got that information and it's been gnawing at the nape of my neck ever since. When it was just the thought of her and I running, I was ok with it. Now she has a runner friend coming too! They want to run 5 miles for 2 hours. How on earth am I supposed to do this??? I have not ran a single step in a VERY long time--at least 5 years. I used to run all the time when I was fit, but I had some problems with my foot, that I am afraid will come back to haunt me.

All of this went through my mind as I found my focus in my workout today. How will I ever become a "runner" and get into the best shape of my life, if I don't just do it? My friend knows that I am overweight (duh it's obvious lol) and she knows that I will probably not be able to run like her and her friend. She knows she will probably have to stop for me a million times, and she still wants me to come (I think, lol). What's the worst that will happen? I go and all of this happens--I'll stop, my foot will hurt, I will have to walk, I'll slow them down, annoy her friend, yadda-yadda-yadda. No the worst thing that would happen, is that I think about it, and that's all that I do. "What if I went running with her?" "Would I have been able to do it?"

I think I'm going to do it. I woke up this morning planning my email to her, telling her why I couldn't do it. I will tell her exactly how I feel, and if she still wants me to go, I will. If she doesn't, then I will go running in my own neighborhood, by myself, just to see how I do. What's the worst that could happen? I find out that it's just not the right time for me yet, and I know, not assume, but actually know :).

It amazes me that when God sees us grabbing for the strength to do something, He gives it to us. We can do all things in Christ, who gives us the strength to do it! ALL THINGS. (Philippians 4:13).

I can do this. I am a star!

Day 26 (day 5 / week 4)

I am really struggling to not hate "Burn it Up!" I did it again today, and it just kicks my butt! I hate it. I really don't look forward to doing it (maybe I will when/if it gets easier for me). Today I procrastinated for over an hour before I exercised because I just really didn't want to do it.

I haven't been in my right state of mind lately--really since I started focusing on myself. My profile says I'm Christian, and by reading most of my blogs, you wouldn't know it. I haven't gone to church since the New Year, and I kick myself for it. I can't take credit for willpower or the strength to get up and exercise everyday--it's all Him. All of the motivation that I get from you guys, comes from Him too. He is looking out for all of us, and He brings us together to lift each other up in our time of need. One of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:13 and I think about it whenever I struggle. I can do anything through Him because He gives me the strength to do it. I just need to ask. I don't think I have ever said out loud "give me the strength to do this" but God knows our hearts, and he knows mine, and whenever I need the strength, something that one of you guys says to me, gives me the strength. It is such a powerful feeling to know that I sit on my butt, and whine and don't want to exercise, and "hate" what I'm doing, but He puts that tiny glimmer in my heart to do it.

The reason why I mention this is because I used the word "hate" an awful lot. Words are like emotional magnets. If you surround yourself in negative things, that kind of sticks to the meat on your bones. If I tell myself that I hate something (such a powerful word) I will (Luke 6:45). That's why I always sign off with what I do. If I say I am a star, whether or not it's true, someday I will believe it. I don't want to hate what I'm doing, and God will give me the strength to not hate it. If we have good thoughts in our hearts, we will do good things. If we have bad thoughts in our hearts, we will do bad things (Luke 6:45).

Sorry for the rambling, but I guess it just weighed heavy on my heart, and kind of surprised me to read such negativity coming from me. I really believe that things are how we make them and if I continue to say that I hate this workout this much, I will, and will eventually quit.

I can do this because He gives me the strength. He makes me a star.

Day 11 (day 4 / week 2)

Oye. Today was another hard day for me. I was just feeling lazy and didn't want to exercise.

I have a lot on my mind with moving. My hubby decided yesterday that we are probably going to move back to Vegas (if we move at all), where we grew up. We have more support there so I can go back and finish Nursing School while his dad watches our son. We wont do any better here, in Reno, than we will in Vegas, so I'm ok with it. He told me, that in order for this to happen, I will go back to work first so that we can continue to pay our bills, since it's easier for me to find a job at a hospital working as a CNA, than it is for him to find a job. He's right. After he finds a job, he said that I can quit and go back to school. Sounds like a good plan, but moving is difficult and that's why it weighs heavy on my mind. I'm still wondering how I am going to do everything (including work) and exercise at the same time. God gives us the strength to do what we need to do on a daily basis, so I have faith that it will all happen (Phil 4:13).

Anyway today I was cold. In fact, I'm getting cold again, sitting here typing this. Our bill was so HUGE this month (we really don't know what changed to make it jump almost $100) that we have the temp super cold in here. A whopping 65 degrees F. That doesn't seem cold, but IT IS! I started exercising in a sweatshirt and finally warmed up and took it off. It was bugging me as was everything today! It was so cold, my nails were purple and I'm not wearing nail polish!

I did, "Ramp It Up!" again today, and was able to do 18 push ups (10 and then 8)! Yesterday I couldn't do that many (I could do 5 lol). My goal for today was to do 6 in a row. yaay! I felt really impatient during the yoga portion, which I think defeated the whole mental benefit of yoga. She just kept talking, "bla, bla, bla open your chest up" (during the "warrior" position) and I think I even shouted out loud, "Come on!" (very impatient of me). I can't feel it in my chest...at all. I'm sure I will someday though. Think I just really wanted to be done with exercising, also. I was already annoyed because every time I do, "downward dog," my shirt falls over my head, the way you see those women on AFV who do cartwheels with dresses on--extremely annoying. Tomorrow I will Steve Urkle it, and tuck my shirt in.

"warrior" position

"downward dog" position

(these cute little drawings are from yoga-training-you.com)

I really enjoy the resistance training, and am starting to warm up to the leg kicks that I hate so much. I can feel my legs getting stronger, although you can't see it at all. Someday.

Thank you for all of your support. Your comments and emails really help me continue to do this...especially on days like today, where I don't want to exercise at all.

I promised that these blogs would get shorter, and they are not. Sorry! Maybe someday.
I have 354 days to work on it lol.

See you tomorrow! Have a great workout!

I can do this. I am a star.