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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Saturday, November 28, 2009

Day 331 (day 2 / week 47)

I haven't kept up with anything that I said I would (sorry Erin, I'll get back on track next week). I ate more mud pie today for breakfast and I am still not happy. Ridiculous. I had pumpkin pie for dinner, too. Whatever.

Today and tomorrow Pebbles will be down the street at the place that we adopted her. I pray she finds a home. A good home, if it's not too much to ask for. She didn't get adopted today (I called to find out), so she has to go back to the cold kennel, outside where it's raining. I hope she isn't too cold. The jerks also aren't going to give her stuff to her next owners (they "forgot" to bring it, which means that they will probably always "forget" to pack it). A crate, blanket, toys, food, treats--lots of stuff we paid for to waste. I am angry about that too, but whatever. I gave up my right to be angry when I gave up my right to give Pebbles a home. I am angry that I miss her so much and that I still cry about it (so stupid).

I did squats today and walked 2 miles. I have to go to work in the morning and I am angry about that too.

I can do this. I am a star. (the more I say this, the more it looks stupid)

5 comments:

Miriam the Mommy said...

It is NOT stupid!! It's inspirational!

Anger is the worst, like feeling angry is the worst feeling inside. Sending many hugs!

Tricia said...

You CAN do it. Stay positive!

loreejo said...

Hang in there girl! You CAN do this! You ARE a star!!

Ellie said...

Just keep going through the motions. And don't forget - the more you exercise your frustration, the better off you will be. It will make you feel better, and the pain will lessen eventually.

How is your husband reacting to the fact that you gave up Pebbles? I'm concerned that you are so depressed and there is no reaction or remorse on his part about your feelings...

Syl said...

squats, you are a superstar!
Keep up the great work, you can do this!