Day 332 (day 3 / week 47)

Sunday Nov. 29, 2009

It was a scheduled workday that I got called off from. At around 5 am my work called me and canceled me. At 6:15am they called me again and asked if I could come back in. Do you think I went? Pssht. No, but mainly because when I saw my work calling the second time, I just rolled over and went back to bed. I checked my message at 7:30 and called and they had found a replacement by then.

I walked only about 1.5 miles that day and walked around to do more Christmas shopping. and I did some heavy lifting. I put our Christmas tree up. The monkey boy helped put some ornaments up. He put them all on top of each other and in the same spot lol. I left them like that. He thinks that the ornaments are all tiny drums so is always slapping them to hear the noise when it clangs against the wall, tree or another ornament. Thank goodness we got him a drum set for Christmas (doh!). I just hope my ornaments make it through till then lol.


Thank you guys so much for your comments and concerns with how I am doing with Pebbles being gone. I really appreciate you guys and I apologize that I haven't responded to the comments yet (I will, I promise!). I haven't been sleeping well because I am so worried about her in the cold. I still cry and I miss her :(. My hubby doesn't care or even notice how upset I am. If he does, he is ignoring it. That makes me angry, but what can I do? Gotta love marriage.

I am a bad girl. I haven't been making much of an effort to exercise as much. I have been doing the bare minimum, which I guess is better than nothing, because at this point I just want to do nothing at all. I've experienced a lot this year, and it's surprising to me that a dog sparked this reaction in me and not injuries, moving to a different state, finding a job and working or any of the other high stressers in my life. *shrugs*

I can do this. I am a star.

Day 331 (day 2 / week 47)

I haven't kept up with anything that I said I would (sorry Erin, I'll get back on track next week). I ate more mud pie today for breakfast and I am still not happy. Ridiculous. I had pumpkin pie for dinner, too. Whatever.

Today and tomorrow Pebbles will be down the street at the place that we adopted her. I pray she finds a home. A good home, if it's not too much to ask for. She didn't get adopted today (I called to find out), so she has to go back to the cold kennel, outside where it's raining. I hope she isn't too cold. The jerks also aren't going to give her stuff to her next owners (they "forgot" to bring it, which means that they will probably always "forget" to pack it). A crate, blanket, toys, food, treats--lots of stuff we paid for to waste. I am angry about that too, but whatever. I gave up my right to be angry when I gave up my right to give Pebbles a home. I am angry that I miss her so much and that I still cry about it (so stupid).

I did squats today and walked 2 miles. I have to go to work in the morning and I am angry about that too.

I can do this. I am a star. (the more I say this, the more it looks stupid)

Day 330 (day 1 / week 47)

Friday, Nov. 27, 2009

Still not happy. I did 42 Wii minutes on the Wii Fit. I also walked a mile. I did something else but I can't remember what it is, and I am too tired to turn the Wii on to see what I logged into it. I miss Pebbles.

I can do this. I am a star.

Day 329 (day 7 / week 46)

Thursday Nov. 26, 2009

I didn't do much. I am still upset/angry about Pebbles. I walked about 2 miles. I also ate Mud Pie and mashed potatoes and turkey. I never usually eat when I am upset, but I guess there is a first time for everything. It was also a holiday.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

I can do this. I am a star.

Day 328 (day 6 / week 46)

Today was a sad/angry day for me. I don't talk about much of the drama because it's boring. I may touch on it but I don't think I ever led on to how bad it is. My hubby hates my dog Pebbles. He hates her so much that we fight about her. Everyday. I got her into training, but he still isn't happy. He doesn't have the patience to wait for the potential I see in her. I had to give her back :(. She deserves better. She's a good dog.

I have been bawling all day, and when I haven't been, I have been on the verge of tears. I am so angry at the same time that my head hurts. My son knows she isn't around, but he keeps calling for her like she is going to come running. She won't :(.

I did some heavy cleaning, gathering her things, to give to Friends For Life (the people adopted her from and have an agreement with, that if we ever can't keep her anymore we would give her back to them so they could guarantee her a good home) and packed it all up in the car along with Pebbles and The Monkey boy. I drove 40+ miles to Pahrump (where it's colder), and said my good byes (the boy was sleeping so he didn't get to, which is probably a good thing...he loved her so much--at night before bed he always says, "i love you mama, i love you dada, i love you pebbles."). They told me she would be in an outside kennel with the rest of the dog until she is adopted, which breaks my heart (she is an inside dog). They didn't even put her blanket down for her to lay on (the concrete is so cold).

I have no right to be upset. It's my fault. I should have known better with my hubby. He is just like that and will never change. I told him that we will never again get another pet, although I grew up with them all around me and love them so much, but I just wont do this again. It's not fair, and he doesn't even care. Besides, to give her up like that, makes me feel like we don't deserve another pet. Ever. I just pray that she goes to a better home. Not like this one. I miss her and see traces of her everywhere. :(

*waah* *waah* *waah*

I did only 20 mins on the Wii Fit and walked a mile. I am just not in the mood.

I forgot about the 30DS. Oh well. 30 days will still be done. Just not in a row.

I can do this. I am a star.