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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Friday, May 15, 2009

day 135 (day 2 / week 20)

Today I started off my workout (Ramp It up from Slim in 6) with the word of the day, from yesterday, resonating in my mind....boredom. If I think I'm going to be bored with my workout, then I'm going to be bored with my workout. Why am I letting myself be self defeating? I am a star! I can do this and have been doing this! I know I can do this!

With that attitude in mind, I didn't focus on the workout anymore, but on my body. My muscles. My movement. My breathing. The task at hand. I just closed my eyes and focused. You'll be surprised with what you can accomplish when you approach every task with this kind of focus. Before I knew it, I had done every single second of Ramp It Up, as if I had been doing it for a month straight...including those tedious leg lifts! I did EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM--IN A ROW! I definitely felt the burn, but that burn just made me focus even more!

The moment I decided to let go of the workout and focus on my body, my entire focus of the workout changed. I am no longer thinking about the mundane and monotonous workout--the time that it takes to complete it, but that the more I do this, the stronger I am going to get.

A friend of mine that lives next door to my in-laws here in Vegas, runs every Saturday morning with her "running group." When we first moved here and she saw that I had been losing weight, she asked me if I wanted to go running with her. First I thought, "wow that would be a great way to lose this weight faster" but then reality set in and I kind of chuckled in the back of my head thinking, "that's a good one, a fat girl 'running.'" But instead of saying "no," I said, "when I have a pair of running shoes that fit me w/out causing pain, I will go running with you," knowing fully well that that wasn't going to happen. I think it was the next weekend that my MIL bought me these shoes (I love them so much!).

I saw my friend the week after I got these shoes and I was still on the high from being able to fit in these shoes, that I mentioned to her that I had them now. Well she invited me then. The idea of going to run, is more exhilarating to me at this point, than doing it. I am scared! She said she would email me some information and we left it at that.

Two days ago I got that information and it's been gnawing at the nape of my neck ever since. When it was just the thought of her and I running, I was ok with it. Now she has a runner friend coming too! They want to run 5 miles for 2 hours. How on earth am I supposed to do this??? I have not ran a single step in a VERY long time--at least 5 years. I used to run all the time when I was fit, but I had some problems with my foot, that I am afraid will come back to haunt me.

All of this went through my mind as I found my focus in my workout today. How will I ever become a "runner" and get into the best shape of my life, if I don't just do it? My friend knows that I am overweight (duh it's obvious lol) and she knows that I will probably not be able to run like her and her friend. She knows she will probably have to stop for me a million times, and she still wants me to come (I think, lol). What's the worst that will happen? I go and all of this happens--I'll stop, my foot will hurt, I will have to walk, I'll slow them down, annoy her friend, yadda-yadda-yadda. No the worst thing that would happen, is that I think about it, and that's all that I do. "What if I went running with her?" "Would I have been able to do it?"

I think I'm going to do it. I woke up this morning planning my email to her, telling her why I couldn't do it. I will tell her exactly how I feel, and if she still wants me to go, I will. If she doesn't, then I will go running in my own neighborhood, by myself, just to see how I do. What's the worst that could happen? I find out that it's just not the right time for me yet, and I know, not assume, but actually know :).

It amazes me that when God sees us grabbing for the strength to do something, He gives it to us. We can do all things in Christ, who gives us the strength to do it! ALL THINGS. (Philippians 4:13).

I can do this. I am a star!

4 comments:

Erin said...

Do it! (By the way, I play the "What is the worst thing that could happen scenario game" with my kids whenever they are thinking they can't do something.)

You are a star!

Melissa Henning said...

I'm just a little scared and intimidated. I think I have to be there at 6am too, which will be hard. But, if I want it, I have to go get it! What's the worst that could happen? I gain a new sense of motivation and inspiration? lol. I am totally scared though, and very intimidated. I think I've already talked myself into doing it though, so no turning back now!

Ellie said...

I would say that you should not "ease" back into running by running 5 miles. Absolutely not. I think starting with 2 is ambitious for somebody that hasn't run in a long time, and I think it's perfectly okay to tell your friend that you will join them for the first 2 miles, and then you will turn around and walk back. You will probably meet them at the starting point around the same time and you will have risked less injury. You will also have gotten nearly all of the benefits of running by walking. The majority of running injuries are caused by people taking on too much too fast when they start running. GO SLOW. You do not want to hurt yourself and throw yourself off your workout routine. You can totally get back into running though - but you should very seriously consider going to a real running store and getting fitted for proper shoes - that will help prevent injury.

Sandy said...

I agree with Ellie, you don't want to hurt yourself and suffer a setback. Do they run the whole time or is it a run/walk deal? I would think you could do run/walking for a mile or two and then walk back to start.