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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Day 229 (day 35 / week 33)

I feel like a train wreck. I woke up a little over 30 minutes ago, and I don't feel any better than I did when I went to sleep. Actually, I feel worse. I didn't get enough sleep (like 2.5 hours less than I am used to!), and I am pretty sure I didn't eat enough yesterday. I probably only broke 700 calories. I only have 30 minutes to eat for 12 hours, and when I got home, I'm too exhausted to eat anything more than a bowl of cereal.

I'm not complaining, I just don't know how to do this yet. Three 12 hour shifts in a row, the lack of food associated with those shifts and exercise is HARD. I even got off work late last night. The person training me deserves a 7 foot trophy! He worked 5 days this week! FIVE TWELVE HOUR SHIFTS! You wouldn't even have known, because he was in good spirits and perky. I'm on day 2 and want to roll over and die.

I had to make today a (non)rest day. If I didn't, I'm sure I would feel even worse tomorrow. There is no way I can do 2 miles this morning. I know I didn't eat enough yesterday, and I know I won't eat enough today. I only did 3 sets of 15 reps of concentration curls. This took me only a couple minutes unfortunately :(. I wanted to do jumping jack, but I'm too tired...waay too tired. It's not much I know, but I need to be smart about this, knowing that I am not going to eat much. Starving yourself to lose weight is not the way to go. I won't do that. At least I did something--although it's not much at all, but I'm ok with that, and I'm sure my body will thank me at the end of the day.

Tonight I am going to go to sleep when I get home from work. That will mean even less food. I wonder if it's even possible to do that with a cranky husband and a toddler. He NEVER puts the Monkey Boy down, and it's doubtful that the boy will want to go down at 8-8:30 pm! lol. We'll find out! I think I am going to have to go buy some high calorie meal bars or something and munch on those throughout the day (if I'm able to). This might be my best bet.

Sorry for the cranky, whiny post. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. I PRAY that I will feel better tomorrow, and I praise God now for it. God gives us the strength to do what we gotta do! (Phil 4:13).

I can do this. I am a star.

5 comments:

Erin said...

Oh, Melissa, change is hard...don't be so hard on yourself...seriously, you are doing awesomely well trying to balance all the requirements of your life right now...cut yourself some slack...it will all sort itself out within a few weeks...you'll see.

You're a star!

You ARE doing this!

loreejo said...

I agree with Erin, this is a lot of new stuff at once. I'm just impressed you're doing as much as you are and I think it's from being as fit and conditioned as you already are from the last 7 months. Hang in there and it will even out for you; you are one determined lady!

Ellie said...

You got this Melissa! You will get the hang of it. I like to keep a Luna bar or a South Beach Diet high protein bar in my purse all the time in case I get caught at work. I also like to have yogurt in the office fridge in case I get a break and a chance to eat.
Also consider drinking your calories - Costco makes great high protein shakes.
I think you should check out some pre-work AM yoga for the days you work - stretching out before work will make you feel energized, instead of making you feel exhausted.

Syl said...

change is hard, but once you fiqure out the balance you will once again succeed.
Allow yourself the time to get use to everything and fiqure it out.
for now try and get some sleep, everything will look better if you are well rested.
Is there a way for you to have a really BIG breakfast so that it can keep you fuller longer, giving you more energy until next meal?

Miriam the Mommy said...

Hope you got some good sleep! My mom works 12 hour nursing shifts too. She recommends the Odwalla or Fresh Samantha or whatever brand is available near you's meal replacement juice / soy drinks. They are imminently chuggable.

And if you REALLY need more calories... The other thing she always has on hand is chocolate! Well, it's good for the energy burst, and the caffeine too...