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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

day 174 (day 6 / week 25)

The Quickfire Challenges (QFC) I mentioned yesterday are kicking my butt! Today my sides are sore from yesterday, and my legs are still a bit sore from the day before. I ended up doing Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred (day 23) and I also did The Biggest Loser Workout--only the warm-up, the low intensity portion and a few minutes of the cool down, because the Monkey Boy came to bother me a few minutes into it. All good. So I got in around an hours worth, not including the quickfire challenge today which is 4 sets of 20 jumping jacks, all throughout the day, to spike the metabolism (I've done 2 of those sets already). She also has us doing (well it's actually "and/or" but I chose "and") 4-5 sets of 20-25 Side Lunge With Windmill Arms. These, like the jumping jacks have elevated my heart, but they are a bit harder, becuase my obliques and glutes are sore and I can really feel these muscles when I do them. If I weren't sore, they would probably be pretty simple and easy to do.

I am a bit disappointed in myself and in general, and a bit angry as well. I weighed myself today and I have gained 5 lbs (I'm back up to 199!) and 4% body fat! I don't understand this at all. I NEVER go over my calories and I NEVER have cheat days! I watch everything and count everything that I put into my mouth, so it doesn't make any sense. If I can't count it, I don't eat it. It really irritates me because people say "exercise more, and eat less" or "do something more active then you already are" like I have no idea what I am doing, or as if I haven't been doing this for over 6 months straight. Everything is accounted for. Even my own mother takes jabs and makes snide/ignorant remarks. It makes me angry that my body fat % went up but I guess I can accept 5lbs, if it is muscle, but I will never know. I did some measurements because I was concerned with the weight gain, to see if anything changed, and some things got bigger (calves) most things stayed the same, and I lost a few quarters of an inch in other places. It's almost the end of the month and I am afraid I won't be losing many inches again :(. Stupid scale. I am so irritated that I weighed myself. I feel like this is all for nothing right now, and this couldn't have come at a worse time, especially since I have been trying to do more. Why on earth would I want to bust my hump even more than I already am, for nothing?

Am I obviously oblivious to something that everyone else including you guys see, that I don't? Please help!

I guess I'm gonna go do some more jumping jacks.

Sorry for the rant...

Make today count.

I can do this. I am a star.

8 comments:

Ellie said...

Hang in there! You will get past this! For the last 9 months, I have gained and lost the same 3lbs after gaining 10 lbs. Everyone plateaus sometimes. It's NOT calories in calories out. People who say that are honestly stupid. It has to do with quality of the calories, it has to do with what you're eating, when you're eating it, and other things that go on in your life. It has to do with salt intake and what time you're exercising. I finally started to lose weight after drastically changing my routine. (I started training for a triathlon, and working out twice a day.)
If you stress about it, it will get worse, not better. Stress leads to weight gain. We all have bad weeks, months, even years. Tell your mother to STFU (you can say it as nicely as you want, but you need to make it absolutely clear to your mother that her commentary is NOT appreciated.)
Don't ask people who aren't doctors or nutritional experts for advice.
The only thing I can think of is that you are too strict and too careful and you stress out too much about what you are eating.
Every day that you exercise is another day you are adding to your life, and it's going to add countless hours to your quality of life. Even if you didn't lose any weight, consider that you walked 5 miles over the weekend - could you do that 6 months ago? Could you do jumping jacks? Could you fit into your old clothes? Do your knees still hurt as much as they did? I will bet you anything that you are stronger, more flexible, and in better shape than you were 6 months ago. So don't let the bad months get you down, and get the hell off the scale for another week! Keep trying to do more - whenever you think you're going to give up, just push yourself a little further. You'll get there. It takes time. Be patient.

Melissa Henning said...

thank you so much ellie! sounds totally stupid but reading this made me cry! Thank you so much! You're 100% right! I couldn't do any of those things 6 months ago! I much better :) Thank you!

Jen, a priorfatgirl said...

Why are you doing this? Is it to be healthy or lose weight? The correct answer is to be healthy. For the rest of your life. You cannot possibly continue the mind set of losing weight for the rest of your life. The scale doesn’t mean anything. Do you think some magical happiness will come into your life the minute you hit your goal weight? Nope, nadda. That is why it is so important for you to really believe in the healthy habits and appreciate them individually and not just for the impact they give you on the scale. What are you trying to get to? A goal weight? Yes? Ok, then what? You just go back to living your regular life? Nope, embrace your healthy habits because you feel good when you do them, not because they make the scale go down.

DISCAIMER: While it is so easy for me to type that, it is harder to believe it. I totally understand your frustration and know exactly how hard this is. We need to figure out how to really learn to love a healthy lifestyle and not just loving the small number on the scale. So, while I can type everything in the 1st paragraph to you, I really should be reading it and re-reading it to myself.

You are doing so well and have come a long ways - do not get discouraged, push through it.

Jennica said...

You're doing so so so great. I really look to you for inspiration to stick to my goals. Your consistancy is what is important, every day you're making healthy decisions that will all pay off. You're doing great, keep up all your hard work!

Chris and Annalisa said...

Don't get discouraged! You're doing things the right way and you're gaining muscle! You're doing amazing things and it WILL pay off! You are a star!

Anonymous said...

Everyone has such great advice and encouragement for you. The only thing I can offer in trouble shooting is "where are you in your menstrual cycle?" There are times of the month when we weigh more, unfortunately.

Don't be discouraged. You're doing such an awesome thing for yourself and your family. The goals won't be achieved in a linear fashion, but they will be achieved--especially healthy!

Tabitha

LoreeJo said...

Hey HomeGirl! What could I say above all to other good comments before? Nothing much other than I thought the same things when I read your post; especially how you never started this endeavor with a number in mind! Well, actually, that's not true, you had a number in mind. That number is 365. You're darn near to half way on that goal. AMAZING! You are AMAZING Melissa and you're touching so many lives. I can't even tell you how much I look forward to reading ALL you're doing, EVERY day! Hang in there Lady!! xo

Melissa Henning said...

Thank you Jenn, Jennica, Annalisa, Tabitha and Loree! Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions and 2 cents. I really needed to hear all of this!

I don't talk about it much because it isn't the important part of what I'm doing, but I do have a number in mind, but it seems so out of reach, so I never talk about it. I have made mini goals that I have on my sparkpage,
1) 200 (done)
2) 180 (lately 190 has been a huge goal for me) 3) 150
4) 135--my goal-goal weight, because it's the highest recommended weight for my height. Once I get there, anything is possible!

I briefly mentioned 135 (very sneakily) on the day that I did the calorie calculation, because you need a goal weight in order to calculate how many calories to eat a day. My number is 135 and I want to get there by Jan 1, 2010--but I am very doubtful that this is going to happen. All things are possible in Christ who gives us strength! so I should just have faith that He can make it happen, in me. Loree is also right--365 was the other number. I never thought I would be this far, so I guess I started to revise some of my goals. I do want to get healthy, but people still look at me like I am a fat girl, and it sucks! I see them look at me, and I think "what are you staring at, I'm sure I eat better and exercise more than you do." I do not look healthy and that bothers me. I am just tired of being a fat girl. I wish I had that remote from the movie Click, and could just fast forward to 6 months from now and see where I am.

I think I need to read my very first blog again, my intro, back from Jan 1, to see why I am doing this. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the junk and drama of trying to be healthy/lose weight.

I feel so blessed that you guys are so supportive! I would not be here without you guys!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ((Hugs))