day 170 (day 2 / week 25)

I find myself avoiding Level 2 on the 30 Day Shred, so I decided to do it today, to see what's so darn scary. There isn't anything scary about it, I just don't like the chair squat/lateral shoulder raise thingies and time really drags by on Level 2. Strange, cause it's the same amount of time as Level 1 and 3.

I also don't like this comment that she makes in the middle of the workout that just totally turns me off. She is great and it seems like she is afraid to own it by herself--alone, almost like there is a lack of confidence. She will say something like "I'm good at this!" which I am fine with (I want a confident trainer!), but then she follows it with a "well at least that's what they tell me" with this tone in her voice, almost like (and this probably isn't true at all--me just being psychologically-silly) it's not a true statement until she mentions that other people feel that way. She says it at the beginning of the DVD too! "They say that I am T.V.'s toughest trainer..." and she ends the sentence with this same tone in her voice and body language that just gives me this wild hair! It's like she doesn't have the confidence to just say it and own it--she always has to throw in that someone else or "they" say it. I know it is totally silly of me, but I really don't enjoy listening to her say it every. single. day. Which is why I avoid level 2 also. I leave the room during the DVD intro (since I can't fast forward or skip through it...what's up with that?!?!) so that part is avoidable--I wish I could just delete her saying the "at least that's what they tell me" part lol. She gives us an AWESOME workout, so that's why I don't turn it off all together (plus I made a 30 day commitment out loud to other people in this group). I think I am going to start muting it though, just so I don't let that affect my workout. It's totally a ME issue, not a HER issue because I tell Debbie Siebers to "stop talking" during Slim in 6 too! LOL. And I love her! (I'm sure Jillian is great too :))

I'm in a pissy mood today if you can't tell.

~>:) (me with my wild hair)

I realized yesterday that I am going to have to start getting up even earlier to exercise, and I just don't want to! The Monkey Boy knows that he can get up and get out of bed when he wakes up in the morning now (thanks to his toddler bed), instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, so that is interrupting my morning exercise time AND he has been skipping his naps an awful lot which makes it virtually impossible for me to exercise during the afternoons *whines*. Today he kept shoving books in my face when I was trying to do the walking pushups thingy, and the plank jacks and squat thrusts. He sits on my stomach during the 1 minute Ab part and he always has a tantrum when I ask him to please move. It just stinks cause he does this all the time now. Part of me wants to just stop exercising and give him the attention he wants/deserves (he's only 2 for heavens sake), but I really don't want to flake on my goal, my exercising, or me! I would gladly put him before me and always do but I don't have much "me" time as it is. If I lock the door, I have the bathroom, but he bangs on it until he is let in. Exercise is it for me. When my hubby gets home, it's his time. I know he would prefer me to have my exercise done before he comes home, so he can have his time with us.

When this 30 days is over for the Shred, it will be much easier because I can just put The Monkey boy in his stroller and take him outside and walk/jog, w/out worrying about getting my daily Shred in. Today is day 19 so I have 10 more days left--that will fly by I'm pretty sure as long I stay away from level 2 lol.

Sorry for the double rant.

I guess it's just one of those days. I know that God is on my side, so I am not just going to kick it to the curb, like I want to and call defeat. That would be such a waste of 170 days. And that would be so easy to do! Totally the easy way out, but I would still wonder "what if" and regret it.

Make today count!

Less than 200 days left. I can do this. I am a star.