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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Don't seek to follow in someone else's footsteps...

It's been a really long time since I have posted, but I wanted to let you all know what I have been up to!
I had another baby, bought a house and have had many blessings. Along with the blessings, we have had trials.

My best friend died on May 3rd. She was my mother in law, only 57 and it was sudden and very unexpected. They found cancer, and it spread a lot faster then they thought it would. All of her doctors were blown away at the progression. They thought it was colon cancer but it ended up being liver cancer that killed her. She died while waiting to see what their plan was. Thought they were dealing with colon cancer (which is slow growing) so they thought she had more time. She went into complete liver failure in a matter of weeks and that's when they found that it was liver cancer.

She was the healthiest one out of all of us. She didn't drink, do drugs and she even stayed away from refined sugars. She watched everything she put into her mouth. She exercised everyday, worked full time, went to school full time and even found time to be very active in her church and with her family.  She was a total inspiration to others. She loved God and was a devout Christian. I used to say that I wanted to be like her and follow in her footsteps, but I read somewhere recently, (and I'm paraphrasing), "don't seek to follow in someone else's footsteps, seek what they sought after." Brilliant. I think that is what she would say.

Anyway, I guess when your genes are bad, none of the other stuff matters in the long run. I cry almost every day because I miss her so much, but she is with Jesus PTL (praise the Lord)! I think about her everyday and although she knew me well, I wish she could have known me as I see myself (skinny). I know she never cared about how I looked, it was always my issue. She was supportive either way. I know that sounds superficial, but she surrounded a lot of my weight goals, because she was so beautiful and skinny, I wanted to be like her. She always made me feel better about how I saw myself, she was my advocate in so many ways.

About 3 weeks ago, I got back in touch with sparkpeople and created a new goal. I didn't realize how simple it seemed. I just need to stay on track. I am watching what I eat a lot more (lots of salads and chicken), and this time around it's been much easier, maybe because the goal seems tangible. Sparkpeople says that I can lose 107 lbs by June 1, 2014, as long as I lose 2 lbs every week. That is AMAZING!! So far I have lost 6 lbs, so I have been able to stay on track. Jana is giving me motivation and strength beyond the grave. I love her and miss her.

Hope all of you are well out there in bloggy land! Btw are any of you on Pinterest? I recently found it and LOVE IT! I am finding all sorts of recipes and craft stuff that I can do and modify to fit my family's eating style and such. Never thought I'd love it, but I do (I was anti there for a while lol!).

Smiles and blessings,
Melissa


3 comments:

Miriam the Mommy said...

How wonderful to hear from you, and I'm so very sorry for your loss. :( She sounds like a wonderful woman and you will always be the beneficiary of all she gave you.

Wishing you the best of luck with feeling GREAT, at whatever weight that might be. I'm curious why you're not doing HCG again, since you were so happy with it last time (I came very close to doing it myself, but decided not to mostly because I'm not ready for my kids to learn what a 'diet' is yet - they are still clueless, bless them).

Melissa Henning said...

Hi Miriam! How are you?? I hope everything is well for you :). It's been a long time!

I didn't do HCG this time, because it is a HUGE mental commitment, and I don't see myself there yet. My hubby and I talked about that because I DID have great success with it before I got pregnant again (There is a big joke at work that if you want to get pregnant do that diet, because that's what happened to me lol). I think that once I can prove to myself that I have the will power, and can stick to the 2 lbs a week for a whileand get a substantial amount of weight off the "right" way first, then I will do it. I am definitely not ready to just be eating the very specific same things over and over again yet (i still don't like shrimp or spinach because of the last time I did this diet--too much!). That diet was also something that I did with my mother-in-law (when she wanted to lose only 10 lbs ha!) and because she died of liver failure, I am questioning everything she did, outside of what she did everyday as a catalyst (there are disclaimers that say that if you have liver issues, not to do the diet). I also question things she did everyday for a long time like some of her eating habits (all of the artificial sweeteners because she was "sugar free"). I don't understand why she was taken away so fast and it might not be the correct word, but doing that diet now just feels a little taboo. I want to make her proud and work hard so I appreciate it. Then I will take the easy road out during the last plateau that I need to break through on. :)

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