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I am Christian, a wifey and a mommy...but mostly I am just a big fat hairy nerd!

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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 20+21

So yesterday was Day 20 on Round 2 of the VLCD (R2P2D20). I weighed in at 187.8 (-1lb from the day before). It was a work day so I didn't have time to do my measurements.

Today--Day 21 (R2P2D21)

186.8lbs (-12 this round)

Bust: 38 (-4.5)
Arm: 10.8 (-1.2)
Waist: 33.5 (-6)
Hips: 42.8 (-3.7)
Thigh: 20.5 (-3)

I cheated today. I went to Cafe Rio. It was like a Phase 3 cheat, so hopefully I won't gain too much by tomorrow. If I do, oh well, not a big deal. I'm already down like 32lbs total since starting this entire diet (this is my 2nd round for those that don't know).

Have a great Sunday!

I can do this. I am a star.

Friday, September 24, 2010

R2P2D18

Today my wt stalled but I lost inches (hence the name of the book the protocol came from, Pounds and Inches).

Day 19

188.8 lbs

Bust: 38.5 (-4)
Arm: 10.8 (-1.2)
Waist: 33.8 (-5.7)
Hips: 43 (3.5)
Thighs: 20.8 (-2.8)

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!

I can do this. I am a star.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Round 2, Phase 2, Day 18 (R2P2D18)

Today's weigh in:

Day 18

188.6 (-10.2)

bust: 39.5 (-3)
arm: 11 (-1)
waist: 34.5 (-5)
hips: 43 (-3.5)
thigh: 20.8 (-2.8)

Yesterday I weighed 189.4 and the day before that I stalled (I don't think I drank enough water).

My current fav lunch on Phase 2 is this, because it reminds me of a hamburger:


Ground Chicken Lettuce Wraps
3.5 ozs ground chicken
splash of chicken broth
3 romaine lettuce leafs
1/4 onion (diced)
1/8c diced red/yellow/green bell peppers
1 roma tomato diced
garlic powder
yellow mustard

A very filling and yummy lunch...
I have learned one of the key points in this diet (something you learn overall, in all phases) that a lot of it is learning how your body reacts to what you put in it. The diet was written a long time ago (1950's) so a lot has changed in regards to how we eat (for better and for worse), and so people have been experimenting, using the same key elements (no starchy veggies/fruits and lean meats, etc), because there is more available. That's why there are various versions of the HCG Diet out there. Some people are ok with mixing vegetables and chicken broth, others are not. I am ok with mixing a few tbsps of bell peppers or even salsa in with my protein (only once a day), and I don't see any ill effects. I am also able to use a few splashes of chicken broth to cook with as I would use oil. I am able to use it for lunch AND dinner without any problems. Some people even use EV Coconut Oil without any problems because it has a positive effect on your metabolism. I'm afraid to try because the regular protocol says no oil at all (except for mineral oil becuase our body won't metabolize it), even in lotion, soaps and makeup.

Tomatoes are a fruit (regardless of what the protocol says) and my body reacts to them as such, so I consider them a fruit here. I tried using them as a veggie one day during my first round, while having my 2 fruits and I stalled for 4 days (wont be doing that again). For those that don't know, sugar and starches are not allowed in phase 2 and phase 3, so all of my ingredients are free of these things. This meal consisted of 1 fruit, 1 veggie (a handful total of mixed) and 1 protein. For breakfast I eat a 1/2 grapefruit with lots of water and coffee (man I love me some raspberry chocolate stevia in my coffee!). For dinner I eat either asparagus with tilapia or maji maji (3.5 ozs uncooked) or 1/2 a diced onion (if I didn't eat it for lunch), garlic and shrimp (3.5 ozs uncooked) with miracle noodles to make a shrimp scampi-ish kind of dinner. So yummy! Sometimes I even make soup.

Ya'll asked for a picture, so here ya go.


Hope ya'll have a great weekend.


I can do this. I am a star.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Here I am!

So, I'm not really sure where to start, as it's been almost forever since my last blog post. I never intended to leave you guys hanging. I attempted a blog post a few weeks ago, writing it out in hand, to post here, but time escaped again, and things have changed even more so that what I wrote was old news. How can I keep up with myself to keep you guys updated with the trials and errors in my journey to being thin? I guess the answer would be to blog everyday, but I did that once before and I just don't want to do it again. lol. Maybe I will post a short weight/measurement daily, since I keep track of that anyway, and will share anything special that comes my way, including but not limited to recipes for the different phases of the HCG diet.

I have been dreading this post because of the diet I mentioned that I was on last time. I knew that this post would be an extremely long, drawn out and defensive post, trying to explain everything, and I don't want it to be that way. There is SO MUCH info out there (seriously, just google "HCG Diet"), that there is no way that I can site everything, and take you on the same journey that I went on. I did read all of the negative articles as well and just did what I felt was right for me (I started off being very skeptical). So, that being said, if you don't have anything nice to say, I'm sure I have thought it as well. This is my decision, and I know a lot of you won't approve, so if you don't like it, I would appreciate you just not saying anything at all. Thank you in advance :).

Let me start by saying that since my last blog post, I have lost another 16 lbs (down 29.2 lbs total). I am on a second round of the diet that I mentioned (The HCG Diet). I did the first round for 23 days, then did the maintenance phase (aka phase 3--the phase that resets your metabolism) for the same amount of time, and now I am on my second round of phase 2.

People that don't understand this diet or who think they know this diet based on the little info most people get hung up on (the low calorie part) call it a cannibalism diet and/or a starvation diet. Shoot, when I first heard about this diet, I was so extremely close minded to hearing anything about it that I thought the same.

I can't remember what made me read about it, but I'm glad I did. A friend of mine mentioned that she was doing it, and I was very skeptical. I looked it up and it just went from there. I think I first read about MamaClok on youtube, and saw her progress, and just started googling it from there. I then stumbled upon the original protocol written by Dr. Simeons, a British endocrinologist, read what other doctors/clinics were saying, THEN I found out that my hubby's uncle and aunt were both doing the same diet, but through a doctor, and I felt better and was sold. Uncle B has been struggling with his weight for some time and doing this diet, with his doctor, he lost 59 lbs in 6 weeks! His wife, Aunt L, did just as well, averaging about a lb a day. People all around me are doing this diet, and seeing results AND are maintaining (there are peepz that have gained it all back an then some, but it's because they strayed from the protocol on phase 3 and let it get out of control), so I figured it was worth giving it a shot. If I felt bad, or dizzy, or hungry, I would stop. I never felt any of those things, so here I am.

The thing that got me with this diet was reading that it resets your metabolism. I have had a feeling, since right around the middle of last year that there might be something wrong with my metabolism. I worked my butt off in 2009 and it didn't make sense to me that I only lost 30 lbs. Don't get me wrong, that's great, but with all of the work I was putting in, and my weight (I'm obese) I should have lost more. My hubby said that he had never seen anyone work so hard, and lose so little. I have lost that in almost 2 months now and when I am not taking the HCG, I can eat 1500 calories and still lose weight. That's the way it's supposed to be (for my weight). That was HUGE, because it meant to me, that my metabolism had reset. Before this diet, I would eat 1500 calories, and nothing would happen at all.

I figured 23 days wasn't going to kill me, and if it would reset my metabolism, then it was worth it. The side effect of trying to reset my metabolism ended up losing almost 30 lbs. If it were cannibalism or a starvation diet, I would be in a hospital due to electrolyte imbalance/malnutrition (and so would everyone else that has done this for multiple rounds), I would be dizzy/nauseous everyday, my hair would be falling out, I would feel extremely hungry and weak, have no energy and I wouldn't be losing weight. Being in starvation mode makes your body hold on to what you do eat. You wouldn't be losing an average of 1lb a day. Yes, you'd lose weight eventually, but not right away. This diet doesn't eat away at your muscles. It eats away at your adipose fat cells. If it did, my body fat percentage wouldn't be decreasing weekly. I was dreading this post because I don't want to explain everything that I spent months researching and it kind of seems like I'm going in that direction. People also try to account the weight loss due to water weight, like we aren't drinking enough water, but you are supposed to drink like 90 ozs of water daily, so that's not the case.

Anyway I am doing this round for about 40 days, and I hope to be down into the high 150's-160's by the end of Phase 2. Then I will start round 3, which is eating enough food to support your new weight, without the HCG, and stay at that weight within +/- 2 lbs for the same amount of time that you did phase 2 for. If I am happy there, then I will stop. When I am done losing weight, I'm going to screw it all up and have a baby. I just don't want to be obese and have another one. The first time I got pregnant, no one knew I was pregnant because I was so big. This time, you will know. For sure.

One of the other reasons that I like this diet, is that I know what I will be eating everyday. The protocol is very clear in what you can eat and what you cant, and that makes the food part of my life very simple. I also have a different relationship with food. On this diet, food means nothing to me. I don't eat it becuase it makes me happy, and it doesn't represent anything in my life. That is awesome to me. Serving sizes also mean something now. I mean, they did before, but I weigh everything I eat, and at the end of the day, its just so rewarding. I see the benefits the next day which makes being motivated that much easier. Who wouldn't be motivated to lose weight, seeing the number on the scale drop every single day. Sweet!

So to honor what I said at the beginning of this post, here are my stats. I use an iPhone app called hCG app, and it tracks all of this for me.n All of these numbers are for my current round (my 2nd)...I started round 1 at 215.

Day 15 on Phase 2
wt: 189.6/-9.2 lbs (starting wt 198.8--round 2)
bust: 40.0/-2.5" (round 2 start: 42.5)
arm: 11.0/-1" (round 2 start: 12)
waist: 34.8/-4.8" (round 2 start: 39.5)
hips: 43.5/-3" (round 2 start: 46.5)
thigh 21.0/-2.5" (round 2 start: 23.5)

How can I argue with these results. If you have questions, please feel free to ask. I wont comment to anything negative. I know how crazy this diet seems, but 23 days didn't kill me, and 40+ more days wont either. I also plan to go to the doctor when I am done, so that I can prove that all is well.

I hope everyone is well. Sorry for the silence. I think about blogging everyday, but I just didn't know what to say because it has been so long. It's like one of those friends that you talk to every day for a long time, and then just stop, for whatever reason. The longer it goes by, the harder it is to say something, and then what do you say? lol.

I can do this. I am a star.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

13 days??

This last 2-3 weeks have been crazy. I have working a lot and started a new, pretty controversial diet, that I an seeing AWESOME results on.

I've lost close to 4% body fat, 14 lbs, 3.5" on my bust, 2" on my arm, 4.5" on my waist, 3" on my hips and 4" on my thigh. Did I mention this happened all in 13 days?

It's a very controversial diet, but it's very short term with a really long maintenance period, to instill healthy eating habits.

Gotta go (on a break @ work), but just wanted to share. I'll post more later. I'm off on Wednesday.

So excited!

I can do this, I am a star.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, July 16, 2010

I still heart Gym

Today I went to the gym...again. I can't believe how much I still heart Gym. The more I go, the more I heart Gym. Is that true love, or what?

Today I just did Cardio. I spent 35 or so mins on the Precor Elliptical, and it said I burned 340ish calories (I doubt that--it's probably much less). I got there kind of late in the scheme of things (noonish) so Kids Club was only open for 1 more hour, so I was limited with what I could do. On Fridays, they are only open from 9-1pm or 8-1pm...something like that so I got there late.

At least I got there, and was somewhat productive with my time. I spent about 15 minutes debating on whether or not to work on back or legs, and never really decided, so the idea just fizzled out (I had fun thinking about it though lol). Back. Would have definitely been back. I love back days.

Tomorrow I work, and the day before yesterday, or the day before that...I don't remember which it was (it was the one that I wasn't at work on lol) I did legs. I was there for about an hour doing 1/2 cardio 1/2 strength. Extension, curls, adduction, abduction and press. I wish I wasn't covered in all of this fat so that I could actually see them working. I miss those days. Someday. Someday soon hopefully...eer in the next 2 years (that's my ultimate goal--hopefully before, but for now, this is realistic).

Ok off to bed. Have to work in the am (I really don't like being out of the house before 5:30am. yuck).

Have a good weekend!

I can do this. I am a star.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Once Upon A Time (with tiny muscles)

Man, I'm sore. Have I mentioned lately how much I have missed Gym and heart him? I'm sore, and my hubby is probably tired of hearing about it, but I love it! I also started bringing my notebook with me too, so that I could track everything again. Gym kicked my butt and I can't wait for it to happen again! I look forward to it :).



A long time ago I had learned that when you strength train, you should work antagonistic muscles, if you are training often, so that you don't cause too much drama too your muscles. So because I do everything people tell me to (j/k), that means I work chest/tricep one day, back/bicep one day, then legs, then shoulders, and then abs (I'm sure I don't need to do all of those separate days, but I used to go to the gym literally everyday, so that's how I did it back then). I try to give 72 hours in between each muscle group worked, so that I don't hurt myself. It all makes sense in my brain (doesn't say much lol) so I started doing it again, now, just as I did it once upon a time when I used to practically live with Gym. It worked for me then, so here's to hoping it will work again.

once upon a time, I used to be thin with tiny muscles :)

This last Saturday, was Chest/Tricep day. My favorite. I worked so hard, my arms are still sore. I made the mistake of training triceps first, so I wasn't able to get a great chest workout. My triceps were just way too fatigued. I learned my lesson, and switched things up on Sunday, during Back/Bicep day.

Saturday: 1hr 40 mins @ the gym

Start-Precor Elliptical 16 mins, resistance 1, cross ramp 10

- Machine Inclined Chest Press, 3 sets/15 reps, 30lbs (rpe 4-5)
- Chest Press (machine), 3 sets/15 reps, 35lbs (rpe 4-5)
- Tricep Overhead Extension (machine), 3/15, 20lbs (rpe 4-5)
- Seated Peck Deck (machine), 3/10, 20lbs, (rpe 6-7)
- Tricep Pull Down (Free Motion Machine) Supine grip, 3/15, 10lbs (rpe 4)
- Tricep Pull Down (Free Motion Machine) Prone grip, 3/15, 10lbs (rpe 4-5)
- Tricep Pull Down--with bar (machine), 3/10, 20lbs (rpe 4-5/5-6 in the end)

End- 16 mins, Stair Mill, level 5.

calories burned according to HRM: 457
------------------------------------

Sunday: Back/Bicep day, 1 hour

Start- Precor Elliptical 5 mins (ear phones kept falling out--got annoyed and stopped)

- Lat Pull Down (narrow grip), 3/15, 60lbs (RPE 5)
- Lat Pull Down (wide grip), 3/15, 60lbs (RPE 4-5)
- Deltoid Row (lower grip focusing on back), 3/12, 40lbs (rpe 4)
- Bicep Curl (machine), 3/10, 20lbs (rpe 5)
- Erector Spinae machine 3/15-12 (kind of pyramid training w/ weights) 50-80lbs (rpe 3, 3-4, 4-5)
- Arm Curl (overhead/machine) 3/10, 25lbs (rpe 5)
- Seated Bicep Curl (free weights) 10lbs (wrists really hurt doing these):
  • hammer curls, 10reps, rpe 4-5
  • alt supine, 20 reps, rpe 5
  • hammer curls 10 reps, rpe 5 (b/c of wrist)
- Bicep Curl, 25lb bar, 3/10, (rpe 4-5)

Calories burned according to HRM: 214
I didn't do a lot of cardio on Sunday, but whatever. I don't care. At least I'm getting to the gym. I figure if I put too many rules on it, that might be a bad thing, at least this early into my new fitness goals/journey. It is all probably more info than anyone would ever want to know, but that's what I did, and how my brain sees the gym, and maybe it will benefit someone one day. These numbers help me to determine what to do each time, and I guess it keeps the gym interesting when there is such great potential for it to not be interesting.

I would love to fit into the pants that I wore once upon a time (yes, I still have them), so I don't care how crazy I look/sound. lol.

Have I mentioned that the Monkey Boy loves gym too? When I don't feel like going, he urges me and says (in his little 3 year old voice), "You exercise at gym today? Let's go to my gym now." How awesome is my 3 year old support system? He doesn't even know how awesome he is for his mama ((heart swell)) (is that a God thing, or what?).

I work the next few days, but plan to hit the gym after work. We will see how that goes though. lol.

Hope y'all had a good weekend and have a great week!

If I can do this (being a fat girl) anyone can do this!

I can do this. I am a star!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I heart Gym.

I can't believe how fast time has gone by. It's scary how fast it goes by if you don't wrangle it and take advantage.


There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about blogging, but there just never seems to be a good time. My baby is getting big! I feel bad sitting here typing on the computer when he gives me his puppy dog eyes, and wants me to play with him instead. There are so many reasons why I haven't blogged, but they are all personal, and don't really matter to anyone but me.

I don't know what happened to doing the measurements, and posting them, but it obviously fell through. I have been exercising though, just not everyday.

My amazing hubby surprised me and bought me 2 year gym membership to 24 hour fitness, from Costco, and I love it. I have only been a few times, as it is a new thing, but I am so happy. I was burned out from exercising at home, and my son was miserable with me exercising there. It's just too hot to get out in the middle of the day to walk now, so I am grateful for this membership.

While at the gym today (leg day), I was surprised with how strong I am, with only exercising at home for the last couple of years or so. It made me realize that I was absolutely right in thinking that exercising at home, can be just as effective as going to the gym. It was my first "leg day" at the gym, and I was just tickled pink the entire time.

I was there for only 64 minutes, because the monkey boy had a doctors appointment afterward. I wore my HRM and according to it, burned 374 calories, doing:

-roughly 25-30 mins on Precor elliptical (hr 150s)
-3 sets, 8 reps, seated leg extension using 35lbs. (rpe 6-8)
-4 sets, 15 reps, seated leg curls using 40lbs (rpe 4-5)
-3 sets, 15 reps, leg press using 50#, 60# and 70# (rpe, 3-4, 4, 5-6)
-3 sets, 15 reps, seated leg abduction using 40# (rpe 4-5)
-3 sets, 15 reps, seated leg adduction using 50# (rpe 3-4)
-3 sets, 15 reps, seated calf press, 40lbs (rpe 3-4)

I haven't been using an exercise diary, like I used to, and I should start, because this (the aboe) is how my brain functions. RPE means ratings of perceived exertion (like a pain scale in the medical world), and it's what I use (and a lot of others) to know if I need to up my weights, sets and/or reps. I will probably up everything the next time (except for the leg extensions) I do legs, and I felt like I could be pushed a little more.

Man. I LOVE the gym. I missed it so much and am happy to be back there again. My plan is to go after work, since it is just across the street, and since I get off earlier at 6:30pm now.

Last week for Father's Day, we went hiking up at Mt. Charleston. It was a lot of fun, and I got a great workout. It was the first time that the Monkey Boy had been hiking, so it was challenging in some areas, but it was fun overall, and glad he got to go.



I haven't measured myself lately, but this morning when I stood on the scale, I weighed 205.2, which is a 4lb weight loss, since I last recorded on sparkpeople, in the beginning of this month. Yaay!

I'm sorry I haven't posted, I just have a lot on my plate (been working a lot and very recently found out that son needs surgery :( but I'm getting a second opinion). I have also been sick too. I will try to post more often, as maybe I could make this my virtual gym diary *shrugs*.

Hope everyone is well! I haven't forgotten about y'all or this blog! Just been shifting priorities around :).

((hugs))

I can do this. I am a star.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

One baby step at a time...

In the last week I have done some serious soul searching. I have gained a lot of weight since the beginning of the year and I am unhappy because of it. It forced me to sit down and just think. I am a firm believer that we are the only ones that can make us feel the way that we do, so if I'm unhappy, it's my fault. So now that I know that I am unhappy, and can point a finger, how am I going to fix it?

I just started over.

I let everything go. Everything that made me angry, all of the "what if's" (what if I had kept exercising 24/7? What would I look like now?) and all of the bad habits that speak louder than the good ones. They just aren't worth it, and sometimes we have to learn that the hard way. I did. Again. It sucks but I'm over it and I'm back.

On Friday I did my measurements *gasp!* and don't like what I see. I am into most of my fat clothes again, and my semi-fat clothes, the ones that I was so proud to wear again, are just semi-fat clothes again. The kind I can't really wear comfortably. I didn't take a picture, but I should (will have to take some pathetic begging and kissing up to the hubby). After a month (on 5/16) I will share my results with all of you, and continue to do so each month. It's about time that I started doing this again!

Anyway, after I took my measurements and weighed myself, I exercised. Everything that stands in my way on a daily basis (on my non working days) was there. The monkey boy woke up early--he is EXTREMELY opposed to my exercising as it gets in the way of his Fresh Beat Band time and I just wasn't feeling it. I feel fat, and when I feel fat, I don't want to exercise. Isn't that kind of ironic? I turned on my EA Sports Active on the Wii and set it to a hard workout, because, well lets face it, I needed a HARD workout. I got 13 minutes into it and quit. I was frustrated because I could do this easily last year. What the heck is my problem?? I totally let go of that. I told myself 13 minutes was better than nothing (and it is), and just tried to move on.

Then I had an epiphany. I cant expect to just start up where I left off. I am a firm believer of baby steps, and although I had taken them once before, I had to do them again, because I let myself stop. Another blessing of momentum. I miss momentum, but in the last 3 days I have started to gain it back. Yes, that means I have exercised everyday since Friday. Not a big deal, but it's a good start.

I also can't expect to just exercise for a few days, or really hard one day (like I tried on Friday) and get my results back. I got my results one day at a time, and unfortunately I am going to have to achieve them that way again. Remembering this, put my mind at ease. All I have to do is exercise daily. One time, once a day. Not all day, like I was when I was staying home, and didn't work. I don't have to do that, and it's unrealistic for me to think that I should have to. Baby steps, one step at a time.

Friday 4/16: 13 minutes EA Sports Active (Hard mode)
Sat 4/17: 21 minutes, EA Sports Active (Medium mode)
Sun 4/18: 26 minutes, EA Sports Active (Medium mode).

Three days in, and I feel better about exercising. I still feel fat, but I am doing what I am supposed to. Time heals all wounds.

Now I just need to focus on food again. Thank goodness for Sparkpeople, that's all I gotta say.

I officially started my new job 4 days ago (a lateral move w/in the hospital), and my schedule has changed to one hour earlier. The good news is that I get off one hour earlier, but the bad news is that I have to wake up, and be to work much earlier *cry* (exercising before work is not an option anymore). Exercising during lunch is not an option either, as I have 30 minutes for lunch and 1 (technically 2, but I never take the 2nd) 15 minute break, to eat breakfast/lunch/dinner during. Have you ever tried to eat a salad in less than 20 minutes? It's hard. I want to try to exercise after work, but I have 3 things against me. Mentally drained, hubby is home (For some reason I can't seriously exercise when he is around) and the Monkey Boy is home (he hates when I take up the living room to exercise). We'll see. I won't stress myself out w/ it yet, and will just take it one day at a time, one baby step at a time.

I hope you all are well. I have been lurking in the background still, and still get my daily dose of so many of you. I never in a million years thought that reading your blogs would be therapeutic for me. Who'da thunk it?

Have a great weekend, and I'll see you soon.

I can do this. I am a star!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Where has the time gone?

My gosh, time has flown by. I guess it's been about two weeks since my last post, but it doesn't feel like it at all.

My new work schedule is kind of wonky. Instead of working in one lump and having like 4 days off in a row, now it's working 2 on 1 off 3 on 2 off, etc. I like working the monitors so it isn't a big deal. I just need to readjust EVERYTHING.

I must have started the 30 day challenge on the EA Active Sports two or three times now. I just started it over last week, and said to myself, "I will exercise when I get home from work at 6:45p because it won't be too late, and I wont be physically exhausted (b/c I'm not on the floor)." Well then I forgot and fell asleep on the couch lol. The next day (also a workday) I forgot until like 1230 in the morning (have you ever remembered something while you were sleeping that it woke you up?), and was so disappointed with myself that I wasn't able to get fully back to sleep and had those dreams where I felt like I was awake lying in bed, trying to fall to sleep, but was really sleeping (know what I'm taking about?).

Anyway, I'm just disappointed. I don't know why my mind has been so distracted away from exercise. It was the center of everything I did last year, and I miss that. My life is just so different now with work, and I want to make them both work. Two or 3 days ago I did my EA Sports Active and was SO sore the next day from the lunges and squats. Last night I worked on the floor (maybe for the last time?), and I counted that as exercise, like I have always done. Today...today I don't know what I'll do but I will keep myself posted here.

When did accountability lose it's touch for me? That's what kept me the most motivated. Maybe it's because I lost my momentum. I'll never get it back, until I do something about it...

Hope everyone is well, and is sticking to whatever it is you are trying to accomplish.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

off to a good start...

Today is my first day off this week and I'm off to a good start.

I got up, ate some yogurt and turned on The Biggest Loser Workout on the Wii. I started a 4 week program and am attempting to lose 13 lbs (I think that's what it set my goal for). If I can do that, then I will be where I was at the end of 2009, when I completed my 365 consecutive days of exercise.

My arms are wobbly--today was upper body day (upper body - light 24 minutes/65 calories burned).


then I did a cool down (light - 8 minutes/8 calories).



The last 3 days I worked, but only the first 2 were normal workdays. Monday I walked 15,943 steps (7.55 miles) during my workday, and Tuesday 13,300 steps (6.30 miles). Wednesday/yesterday, not so many...4,507 steps (2.13 miles). The reason for the lack of steps is a pretty good reason though. They are finally putting my heart rhythm reading skills to work! They are training me to be a Monitor Tech/Health Unit Secretary! Finally! I was super nervous, but my preceptor told the director that I am doing "freakin' awesome" and from what the director says, she doesn't say that, and she has trained a lot of people. What a blessing, and confidence booster!! My preceptor said that if I continue the next 4 days of training, like I did yesterday, she is going to push the director to hire me as the new, muchly needed, full time, day shift, Monitor Tech/HUC. Woo Hoo!!!!!! It's patient care, behind the scenes, with a little bit earlier schedule, but something that I LOVE doing :). I like being a CNA, but overtime is a turn off because I am so exhausted after my 3 day stretch working 12 hours each day. Overtime doing this is VERY doable. I wouldn't mind one bit.

The downside of this new job (in my eyes) is the lack of steps. Maybe it might be a good thing though, because since I started working, I haven't been able to get a grasp on the actual number of calories I have been burning (calories burned using METs, vs calories burned on my HRM--which is a HUGE difference) and I haven't had the energy to exercise on my day's off, like I had envisioned when I was a SAHM. Because I don't know how many calories I am exactly burning, I can't do the math correctly to know how much to eat, to lose weight. I feel like I haven't been eating enough, which is probably why I am so exhausted. Yesterday I was not so physically exhausted when I got home either. I felt great. We'll see, and I'll just pray on it. God answers prayers. Maybe this is a God thing, because after all, in order to do what I am training to do now, and might possibly be doing in the future, you have to have a minimum of 1 year of experience doing it already (which the director is very adamant about), because PCU is a critical care unit (a step down from ICU).

Anyway, that's what I have been up to. I plan to be back tomorrow. I have been lurking the blog circuit and reading your blogs, but I've just been silent.

See you tomorrow!

I can do this. I am a star.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

I feel itchy, oh so itchy...

The past 2....now 3 days have been interesting. The last 12 hours have been the most interesting.

I went into work as scheduled on Monday and was sent home mid day. I was called into the directors office at lunch and was given some good news (remember that monitor tech class I took in November to learn how to read ECG strips, but then they didn't train me because it wasn't in the budget?). I was avoiding the director, as much as I love her, because I had been told all day that I would probably get sent home if she heard me (I lost my voice), and so when she called me in, I assumed that was what it was for. She said that they were going to train me, and I exclaimed in my raspy half-voice, "I am so excited! Thank you!"

Immediately she responded with "What's wrong with your voice?" I thought, "awe crap." lol. So she sent me home and said we would discuss the details on Tuesday when I got back to work, if I was feeling better.

By Monday night, I felt a whole lot worse and called in sick for Tuesday. I decided that if I didn't feel better Tuesday mid-day, that I would make a doctors appointment, and I did.

I went to the doctor and he prescribed an antibiotic, Azithromycin, and some cough medicine. He said take 2 of the antibiotic the first day, and then take one for the remaining 4 days. Less than an hour after I took them, I noticed some hives developing on my stomach. I tried to eat dinner but had no appetite (me??? no appetite?? something is definitely wrong lol). An hour later, they were all over my stomach and my bottom. The pharmacy said to stop taking the antibiotic (ya think?) and start taking benedryl so I did, but they kept getting worse. And worse. And worse. I called in work for today as well (Wed) so that I could get things fixed at the doctors office. I went to sleep and woke up covered in hives--head to toe (face, palms, arms, neck, ears, legs, back and all--even armpits!) and they aren't slowing down. How nervous would the patients be to see me if I had decided to go to work today. lol.

Anyway I called the doctors office this morning, and the answering service put me through to his cell phone. He wasn't any help. He said to take benedryl--50mg every 6 hours, which I am doing already. He hasn't seem them, but isn't too concerned with my "rash." lol.

Anyway, back to square one. Hopefully I can go see him, and he will fix the antibiotics and give me a steroid for the hives. This isn't the first time that I have had hives, and I've learned in the past that the only way they go away, for me, is with a steroid. I will play his game though. ;)

Still no exercise, and I am still sick and oh so itchy.

There are so many worse things to have out there, than hives, so I can smile. Definitely not the end of the world, and I am already laughing about it. It makes my hubby nervous though. (that makes me laugh too).

Hope everyone has a great Wednesday!

I can do this (although I'm not quite sure what I'm doing). I am a star.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Excuses, excuses and more excuses

So it's been like a month since my last post, and I have gotten so far behind in updating here, that I don't know where to start.

I have been exercising at least 4-5 times a week, no less, sometimes more. I am averaging 12k-13k steps at work, and I have been sick twice in the last 3 weeks (son got a cold, then me, then son again, then hubby and now me again). I'm sick right now. I even look sick, which isn't very nice to hear, when you spent over an hour putting on war paint, and primping. lol. It's kinda funny at the same time though. It's not a head cold so I am laying off of the exercise till it goes away.

I did most of the 30 day challenge for February on the Wii EA Sports Active, but missed a day (a work day) and it threw me off on the "game" and so I started it over again in March, but missed 2 days because of being sick/work schedule. My son stopped taking naps during the day and so my "me time" is gone as a result. Lots of excuses I know. Now that it's written and I can visualize my wall, I think I can start to chop away at it. Maybe I need to use a calendar and schedule things in. Regardless, I need to do something because I am gaining weight again. I need to start w/ the measurements and do it all again like I did during my 365 days of exercise in 2009. I can do this. I know that I can.

I also started a bible study with my MIL on Wednesday nights, which I won't be able to do the next 2 Wednesdays because I am working. I need to make my relationship w/ God a priority again and I think that just in general I just bit off more than I can chew for the moment. Exercise is still very important though.

I know that I am not eating enough, but it's so hard to eat when you're busy, and food is the last thing on your mind. AND my oven doesn't work. It is a broiler. I burn anything and everything I put in it, and it makes the thought of food annoying for me, becuase the oven heats at over 550F when set at 300F (my thermometer wont register anything over 550 and the numbers weren't slowing down before it got to "high"). More excuses. I think I am cranky too, so I am venting... sorry.

Anyway I need to go to bed. I feel pretty crappy. I thought I would just pop in to say "hi" while my water is heating up for my theraflu.

I promise to pop in again soon.

Thanks for sticking with me! You guys are great.

I can do this. (I did once before!) I am star.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Shame, embarrassment and addiction

It's been a week since my last post but I haven't given up or stopped my 30 day challenge. In fact I even added a new exercise to my regimen that I am a little ashamed of (have I mentioned it? It's been so long I can't remember).

Here has been my week so far:

Sunday (day 7):
Work, 12,038 steps, 5 minutes of EA Sports Active before work
Monday (day 8):
work, 13,980 steps, 12 minutes of EA Sports Active before work
Tuesday (day 9):
22 minutes of EA Sports Active, 85 minutes of a new shameful, embarrassing addiction (521 calories burned total)
Wednesday (day 10):
work, 13,068 steps, 11 minutes of EA Sports Active before work
Thursday (day 11):
43 minutes with my shameful addiction after discovering more than one way to do it (246 calories burned)
Friday (day 12):
48 minutes (2 parter) EA Sports Active and walking for an 1.25 hours (a slow 3.22 miles)
Saturday (day 13):
24 minutes EA Sports Active, walking for 60 minutes (a slow 2.3 miles)
Sunday/today (day 14):
20 minutes with my shameful embarrassing addiction (so much fun) and walking 2 miles in 45 minutes.

Have you ever done something you swore that you would never do? Something that you see other people doing and you think to yourself "what a douche" when you see them doing it, because you are just too good to lower yourself to that kind of level? I am there and I am ashamed. It's embarrassing. I have to do it when no one is around. Not even my 3 year old son because even he mocks and laughs at. I was embarrassed to walk to the check stand, because I knew the checker would think, "well he isn't doing it" of my husband, "he isn't doing it--he's too young," of my son, and laugh to think I was the one doing it. The dainty young man at the counter in fact "o.m.g. hearts" it. Of course.

I'm just kidding, not about the checker though. Or my son laughing at me. He laughs hysterically with every single step that I take, like it's a joke that never gets old. It's not at all as dramatic as I drew it out to be though. It's sweet and beautiful and I even joined a group on Sparkpeople to support my new love for it. Something I never in a million years thought that I would jump on the bandwagon for.

Dance Dance Revolution.

Some sparky friends mentioned it last week or the week before, and I was curious to find out that it was a good workout. I honestly can't remember if I mentioned it here before, but it's my new addiction. We got it, I played it, and I have the songs stuck in my head 24/7. I want to dance like the characters on the screen, but instead I'm left with hip swinging, hard punching (cause they don't register if they aren't hard for me), hula hooping arrows that flash on my screen in "workout mode", and videos to songs that I love, that I can never watch, because I am too busy paying attention to the arrows because I want to get a good grade (I am a C average student for the first time in my life--I've only gotten 2 B's one on a Coldplay song and the other on a Black Eyed Pea's song--the rest C's and a few D's! doh!).

I just discovered that the songs have a bpm rating, like 138 beats per song, or 155 beats per song (a Kiss song) that makes me feel spazzy like I could be strung out on crack or something. The faster the beats, the faster the arrows scroll through and the better your coordination must be. Great workout. Still embarrassing to do. I am addicted.

I also still really love my EA Sports Active. My muscles are very sore but I feel MUCH stronger and it's been only like a week since I started. Also a great workout. I feel so blessed to have found motivation again, even though it's something unrelated to exercise. EA Sports Active has trophies, like Sparkpeople. Friends, for me it's about the trophies. One of my recent trophies is running 25 laps on the virtual track. I jog around my living room literally doing it. I sweat a lot, but I do it. I'm excited to do it. I hope I never lose this excitement.

Anyway I hope you all are having a wonderful Hallmark holiday! I had today off so I am happy. I work for the next 3 days in a row though, and I guess I'm happy about that too. The work is hard, but at least I have a job to go to.

Have a great night! See you soon!

I can do this. I am a star.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

*falls over on the floor*

I can't believe that I almost forgot to blog for today. I have been on the computer on and off, and for some reason had the feeling like I had already posted for the day. lol.

Anyway today was a day off from work, and I put on EA Sports Active again. Day 6. This month is going by pretty quickly (it's only day 6, but before I know it, it will be day 10). I said it yesterday, but I REALLY love this game. I feel like it was totally worth the money. I woke up this morning and was sore, so it did it's job yesterday. I was pretty sore but remembered from last year (365 days of exercise) that when I am sore, it feels better to follow up with exercise, because I end up not feeling so sore--a double negative if you will? lol. It worked.

Today, was a little different than yesterday, which I loved and hated all at the same time. We did a lot of lunges. So many lunges (*falls over on the floor*)! Side lunges with a toe touch, raised knee reverse lunges, alternating forward lunges---so many lunges. We did a lot of running and knee ups and butt kicks (I forget what they call them) also. It was a GREAT workout! We also did some arm, shoulder and core stuff.

The thing that I like about it is that it is like a trainer is with you. I can't cheat! It makes you hold the lunges, curl, or whatever you do the way a trainer would and it wont move on until you do. It tells you if you are running too slow, or not slow enough (on the slow parts, of course). Totally worth the money. This is by far, my new favorite toy. I thought I loved the Wii Fit, and I do, but this is going to get me where I want to be.

Yesterday a few of you Sparkies mentioned Dance Dance Revolution, and how much of a great workout it was as well. I would have never thought it, and have never even done it in an arcade, but my hubby bought it for me, for the Wii. I feel so lucky that my hubby will buy me these things, because he knows I will use them (and lucky that it's in our budget this month). Anything exercise related, he doesn't even question--he just gets it, if it's in our budget :). Anything else (household gadgets) he teases me about and doesn't get them. I guess I feel blessed in this way, because I have proved myself to him, and he takes me seriously with it. How often do we buy things, say we will use them, and never use them? Two years ago, that was me. I am happy to say that I have changed! Yaay! Anyway, I haven't tried it yet, but I will. I am going to throw that in if/when I get bored this month.

Anyway, tomorrow is a workday. I know I will be sore in the morning, so my plan is to wake up early and get some exercise in, just so that I won't be sore at work. That's the worst feeling in the world. Being sore, and being forced to be on your feet, using your legs for 12 hours. I'm pretty certain that I won't be sore. I just hope that I wake up early enough and don't punk out!

Hope everyone has a great weekend! Thanks for reading :).

PS. I turned the anonymous comments off. The junk ads/comments are becoming a daily thing and it's starting to annoy me. Sorry to those of you that comment anonymously!

I can do this. I am a star.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Wii's Your Shape and EA Sports Active

Today I was proud of myself. I got up early and exercised...for almost an hour. I started off with Your Shape, and the more I play it, the more I don't like it. Maybe I just don't know how to use it properly.

We have different colored couches now (navy instead of tan) so I don't match with them anymore which makes it easier. It also brightened up the room, which doesn't make any sense to me lol. I find a lot with "Your Shape" that I will be doing the exact same thing that she is, and that it even looks the same on the screen, yet it's telling me to follow her. It's frustrating, and frustrated me to the point of turning it off 30 minutes into my scheduled 45 minutes. I got a good workout with it though. I am thinking about returning it, but I don't have the box it came in anymore. Oh well. Maybe when I am thinner and not just a huge glob on the screen, it will be better. There aren't many features on it either--like I want to set a goal, and it won't let me. Anyone know how to do that? I did about 30 minutes--that's the other thing I don't like...I can't see how much I did for the day, only what I programed it for, and when I look at my "stats" it combines all of the minutes/calories/days together, so it gives me a huge number. I want to know what I did today, like Wii Fit tells us on our minute piggy bank. I did about 30 minutes and burned I think 330 calories (based on memory of the 1 time screen screen). I hate not having exact numbers but oh well... (if I wasn't lazy I could just subtract what my numbers for the day before yesterday, but I don't feel like putting the disk back in to see what my totals are lol).

After turning it off, I decided I wasn't quite satisfied with my workout so I put in Wii's EA Sports Active. I haven't done it yet, and had been looking forward to it. I REALLY enjoy it. It's fun and a GREAT workout. It's a Bob Green thing (the Opera/Best Life guy), so it was nice to see a familiar face in the "video" segment. EA Sports is like Wii Fit in that it's fun, and it keeps my attention (I have toddler brain with exercise games now) and I can adjust the kind of workout I want to have. It only take a few minutes before I am bored with it and want to move on lol. Wii Fit can be iffy with the intensity of your workout--you can make it a game if you want, or a workout-workout, and EA Sports is a workout. I enjoyed that. I had the option for Intense (I think), Medium, or Easy, and I chose a Medium workout today. I did 27 minutes and burned 175 calories.

I did squats, rows (a few kinds), bicep curls, side lunges, running, walking, in line skating and some other things I can't think of atm. It was a good workout, and my legs are sore and my arms are on the verge (it comes with a resistance band!).

It has this cool journal part and gives you daily things to check off on and I like that. It feels like I am getting an overall experience and not just exercise. I am also learning stuff.

Yesterday I went into work. They were short and I can use the overtime. Yaay for overtime!

I walked 15,435 steps.

It's been a good month so far for exercise. I am looking forward to the rest of the month :). I should have done measurements or something. Oh well. At least I have my weight. :)

Have a good one! See you tomorrow!

I can do this. I am a star.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Over Stuffed Sausages... yummm (evil laugh)

So, today is day 3 of my 30 day challenge. You didn't think I forgot did ya? I have been working for the past few days, and am still exhausted (not to mention my feet are killing me!) from moving and now from work also. I thought it would, but it didn't stop me :).

Monday and Tuesday I worked but this is what I have done so far:

((Sunday (Jan 31): 14,924 steps))
Monday (Feb 1, day 1): 11,920 steps
Tuesday (Feb 2, day 2): 15,214 steps
Wednesday (Feb 3, day 3): 45 minutes of Cardio on Your Shape (1012 calories burned!)

For my birthday my hubby bought me some exercise games for the Wii and I broke out the "Your Shape" for the first time today. I have mixed feelings on it.

It does a little like pre-test to see where your exercise level is, and it grades you in letters, like in school. My pre-test thingy scored with an A+. I didn't realize it at the time, and I may be wrong, but this score made the game think that I am really fit and can jump around like a skinny girl. Man, it was hard but I stuck through the entire thing. I think it put me into a fitness level that I am not at yet.

This game was a huge eye opener also. I am HUGE. I think because I exercise regularly again, and have been consecutively for over a year now (I can't believe that I can say that!), that my idea of what I look like is more of how I feel, and my energy, than what I really look like. It was depressing to see me up there on my TV screen. All I could see was my fat blubbery stomach bouncing out of my shirt during the jumping portions--which was like all of it. My legs look like sausages overstuffed with cottage cheese. If that isn't motivation enough to get moving, I don't know what is.

The other thing I didn't like about it is that we don't have enough lighting (even lighting) in our living room (with all the shades up, natural sunlight and all of the lights on), and the pale couch/wall match with my pale skin color lol. Seriously. It says to (in my own words) clash with your background. I blend in. It's kind of funny but frustrating at the same time. I wore different colored pants and shirt, but my arms match our pale couches lol (my in laws are giving us their couches tonight on a totally unrelated/related thought--navy leather. sweet!).

Anyway I thought today was "arm" day, but I found out the hard way that it was cardio day instead. lol. I kept wondering when it was going to get to the strength training part. Thirty-five minutes into it, we did donkey kicks and side kicks and that was about it.

I am not scheduled to come into work tomorrow, but they called and asked me if I would, so if my FiL can watch the Monkey Boy, I will. Yaay for overtime. I hope I am not too sore but I am sure I will manage.

Hope everything is well with everyone.

I keep getting these spam comments so I am thinking about turning off the anonymous comment option, if I can figure it out.

Take care and see you either tomorrow or the day after.

I can do this. I am a star.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Daaa! (like ta-da but w/out the Ta(ta's) lol)

Sorry for the extended silence! For the last week or 2 we have been very busy. So much has been going on. The Monkey Boy started potty training--fully and on his own, and we found a place to move to and have been moving things over for the past week (great exercise btw!). Yesterday I made my final trip and we are now completely moved in--one day ahead of schedule. The monkey boy even used his new pee-pee-in-the-potty skills in the new place!

Finishing with the move 1 day early means that we can go to a car show today (lots of great walking)! Once upon a time, I used to be into cars. I used to go to car shows and was in a car crew. Since getting married, having a baby-doll and focusing on a nursing career, all of that went on the back burner. My hubby is into cars, so it was inevitable that I find that interest again. I bought a new 2008 Scion XB about 2 months ago with drop springs, fog lights, upgraded radio and few other little things. I put new rims on it (love them!), and did a few little cosmetic things to it with vinyl (so fun!). I still need a spoiler and want new seats, but first I am going to change my headlights look angry (with halos) and am contemplating making them pink, as well as the console lighting and maybe the door sills if I can find them. I also need to get a.....you know, I'm sure none of you care, so I will just leave you with a picture. It's not the greatest, but that's it. lol.

Daa! like Ta-da but w/out the ta(ta's)
(as the Monkey Boy would say)

Anyway, I've been keeping up with my exercise, and have been logging it onto sparkpeople. For the past week and 1/2, I have been walking more than 10K steps, so that is awesome (on my day's off I usually get 1/2 that)! Yesterday I had over 15K steps down.

Last weekend I did some side lunges with the Wii Fit and killed my legs. I couldn't stand or walk for I was so extremely sore, it was ridiculous. I am not sore anymore, but I feel drawn to do them again lol. After we get the Wii all set up, I want to get back to my normal Wii routine.

The fun part about where we live is that the treadmill fits in the living room comfortably. I am very excited about this. I just hope that I follow through and use it. I have realized lately--well, since after 2009 (completing the 365+ days of exercise), that nothing stimulates my motivation the way I was last year. It's like my brain said "you did it, you proved you can do it, so...eh, whatever." I feel bored a lot, and so I need to reevaluate myself, my new found brain and goals and start-a-tweaking again.

Long term goals do nothing for me anymore. Last year they did. I think I need to chop them down, in order to follow through w/ them now. I think that stinks, but I am glad that I have the insight to know this about myself. If you know something that stands in the way of your goals, find a way to step around it. No one knows you better than you do, so you just have to find what works for you.

For me, I think doing 1 month goals, as a long term goal, is good (I hope lol). The 1st of the month is a good place to start, so there you have it. I am going to go for 30 days of exercise. Seems to pale in comparison to 365+ days that I just did, but it's a start. It's a good start to a great ending.

Have to go take a shower and wash my car.

Have a great weekend! Now that I have the internet up and running again, I will be blogging more often. Especially with my new 30 day goal.

I can do this. I was a star!

Friday, January 15, 2010

God is with us each and every step of the way...

Hi everyone! I hope you didn't think I would be gone for too long. Although I won't be blogging as constantly as I was before (daily) I still plan to check on and share my experiences with diet/exercise and life as a full time working mom/wifey.

Things are not good for us right now, but they could be worse. Totally unrelated to all of the financial problems, we have to move and we have 15 days to do so (such bad timing). Life has been stressful, but I still have a smile on my face, because I know that God is with us each and every step of the way. Money doesn't dictate whether I have a smile on my face, and it shouldn't (maybe at first it's scary but after He calms my heart, I see it is nothing). It's just paper and has no power in His eyes, so why should I give it so much power in mine? I am being completely public about it because I am not ashamed. I didn't do anything wrong. We don't live beyond our means. The state we live in sucks and my hubby's past mistakes haunt us both here (whether he lived beyond his means once upon a time before we got married, doesn't really matter anymore). The judgment against him affects me because I married him. For better or for worse, ya know? The fun part is that this is all new, and it can only get better! Who knows what may be at the end of this dull colored rainbow?

Anyway my "break" (I say that like Ross does on Friends--"we were on a break!) didn't last long. I think instead of calling it a break, I just needed to slow down for a few days and get my priorities together. Family is a priority. I just couldn't stay away from my cabana boy aka exercise for too long, no matter how hard I tried. I spent all year, last year committing to it and fitting it into my life, so it's too hard to just let go of it that easily.

I thought of exercise constantly (the "what to do" not the "ugh, I have to do") but it felt good to not have to do it for 2 days. Anyway this is what I have been up to:

Friday and Saturday were like the complete rest days--I didn't do much, typical everyday stuff including some heavy cleaning and I wore my pedometer out of curiosity on Saturday.

Saturday: 5656 steps
Sunday: 16,000 steps exactly! (work)
Monday: 15,485 steps (work)
Tuesday: 15,395 steps (work)
Wednesday: 32 Wii Fit minutes
Thursday: 33 minutes of just Wii Boxing (love it!)

Today: 13 minutes of just Wii Boxing and some of Turbo Jam Cardio Party (25 minutes)

I will be doing a lot of walking looking at apartments and such again today, so I'll update my pedometer reading (3865 steps--not as much as I thought it would be).

I think when things slow down after moving and the lawyers, I am going to start doing the photo/measurements, because it was a good source of measurement, from where I have been, to where I am going. It is a pain in the butt to do, but TOTALLY motivating and rewarding!

Oh! I almost forgot. Totally caved on the sugar thing, but if you know me, it was inevitable. I think it's something I really need to take baby steps with, to make sure it sticks, the way I did it with exercise. A big problem w/ it is, if I say I can't have it, I want it even more and seek it out. If it's allowed, I don't care so much lol (I guess it's that 3 year old in me). I have gone 15 days w/out soda of any kind and drink a ton of water again. I forgot how great that feels.

My son's 3rd birthday is on Sunday! I can't believe how big he is getting. My birthday is the Saturday after that. Oye.

Hope you all are well! Thank you for all of your wonderful comments and well wishes. You guys are awesome!

I can do this. I am a star.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

It's time for a break

I need a break. I think that I bit off more than I can chew by trying to do 2 years of exercise in a row, and I think it's just too much. I talked to my family and they all agree. I just have so much going on, and instead of relieving stress, it's become a stressor. Over the past year I have learned what it takes to make a positive lifestyle change, and how to have the dedication and determination to do it.

This "break" doesn't mean that everything will stop. It means that I need to give myself the chance to do it on my own, and not because I have to (that's the difference in my mind with this resolution). So yesterday, I took a much deserved break. I didn't exercise. I exercised for 365 days in a row and then some. I proved to myself that I can do it, so I will never say to myself again, that I can't. It hung over my head like I was forgetting to do something all day, but at the end of the day, it felt good to let go.

Yesterday I still watched what I ate, and I wouldn't really call it, "watching" because it's just what I do now. I am so used to knowing to look for the numbers and that's a good thing. It's apart of my lifestyle change, and I don't find myself craving calorie filled junk anymore, like I used to. Knowing those numbers makes it hard to enjoy the food. I also want to focus more time on the Sparkpeople plan. It teaches some great stuff for lifestyle change, and I just want to do the whole thing over again, w/out any added disruptions. I think I had too much on my plate to fully absorb the great info (I learned a lot, but I can learn SO MUCH more).

I also still plan to keep up the no sugar/no soda thing. It's so hard with the no sugar, but easy when it's not around (it's those "around" times that are a pest!), and I will still continue to talk about that, because so many people struggle with it too, but the no soda thing I think I have in the bag. It's more like a soda/strange chemicals ban.

Anyway I didn't weigh myself or do my measurements, like I said. Sorry. I spent a lot of the day trying to recover financial damages (so stressful). In 2009 I started out at 215lbs and at my lowest I got to 183. I have since gained 10lbs but I'm not upset because it will eventually be lost too. I now weigh about 193lbs. Having this goal made me obsess over my weight more so than usual, I think, because it was measurable by that number. I still plan to lose more weight this year than last, but I won't and can't obsess over it because I have other priorities that are more important.

Work and exercise is hard. All of you working peepz out there know this. I was spoiled at the beginning of my resolution because I was a stay at home mom. I had A LOT of time on my hands, more so than now (even on my day's off because I'm playing catch up). Once I started working, the exercise thing got hard, and I stopped enjoying it. It became a chore.

Anyway, I still struggle and am still going to blog when I can, but I think I need a rest from blogging daily, and trying to catch up on the days that I didn't blog. It's just too much.

I hope you all are well! Thank you again for all of your support!

I can do this. I am a star.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A twofer

Well, yesterday stunk. It started off a good day--got my pray on, work on and exercise on (14,821 steps). I had accomplished almost 6 hours of work before 10:30am--it was a great start to a day...

then I got a series of strange text messages from my hubby. Strange and almost frantic. I could feel his panic in his words.

"I am really freaked out, please call me."

"We are broke, no money is in our account as of now."

What the heck is going on? I didn't get these texts until almost 2 hours after he had sent them (I am one of those rare people that leaves my cell phone in my purse at work). What happened?

So many things ran through my mind as the phone rang while I was trying to call him back. Was it my car? Insurance? Did the rent check go through? Something we forgot? Zero? How on earth do we have zero (we are not bad with our budgeting)?

It turns out that we don't have zero. We have less than zero.

It turns out that a past debt of my husband--almost 10 years old before we got married came back to haunt him...us. There is a legal hold on the money in our bank account and we will probably never see it again. It's really too much to post here, but I will just say that I have had to get a lawyer which we have an appointment with after my hubby gets off of work, to get this taken care of. The company bugging him, got to me because in the state of Nevada, his debt is mine, and mine is his (although I have none). Hopefully we can get this taken care of.

I am so annoyed at this, but feel blessed at the same thing. Things could be so much worse! We got most of our bills paid for for the month, so we just have to play catch up for a little while and pay the bank back. At least we have jobs! There are so MANY plus sides that for me it's hard to be smoking angry. My hubby might have to file for bankruptcy (and I might have to also, according to a bankruptcy lawyer I spoke with yesterday) but that would be a good thing, because then nothing he did in the past can haunt him or again. We don't own a house so they can't take that. The fact that we were never given notice of this happening is also a plus on our side. They didn't send us a letter or anything. I just pray that something can be done. Thank God for family.

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(now for today)

All this being said, my measurements are the last thing on my mind. I hate to say it, but so is exercise. I'm sure it shows. I haven't been shoving food into my mouth but the last 2 days have been hard because we have to do w/ what is in the house, and that isn't a whole lotta healthiness (at least I haven't had any sugar or soda, which is good because I could REALLY do w/ a candy bar or ice cream right now). I have spent the entire day so far on the phone trying to fix things. The measurements are going to have to wait until Saturday or until my hubby is in the mood to help me with them.

I walked away from this blog for a little while to help the Monkey Boy with some stuff and I thought that what I need to do is make a list. An exercise to-do list, of doable things, like quickfire challenges (a few sets equaling 100 throughout the day), so that I at least get exercise in for today. I wont lie, I'm not in the mood for cardio or even the Wii Fit. When I am done, I will update and put "(done)" next to it. Here it is:

Seated Knee Lifts with Chair

Pushups

Jumping Jacks

Standing Back Extension with an Object

I guess this is all for now. Don't want to over due it.

Sorry for venting, for flaking on my daily affirmation to blog each day. Sometimes it's just not possible. It doesn't mean that I am throwing in the towel though :).

I can do this. I am a star.

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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

I am selfish...

Today was my day off (have to work again tomorrow) and I got up early to exercise. As soon as I go on the Wii Fit balance board, the Monkey Boy woke up. I had the volume turned all the way down, so he definitely didn't hear it. He just has that, "mommy-selfish-dar," he knows when I am being selfish.

It's so hard to be in "selfish mode" with a toddler around. Yes, exercising is selfish. It totally should be because it's about you and no one else. You may choose to exercise to look pleasing--we don't see ourselves the way others do--literally...we aren't a third person (duh). We may (should) choose to exercise for our health, so that we may be around for generations to come. Any reason, we have to do it ourselves, no one else can do it for us (awe man!).

So because I know now that it's getting hard for me to exercise when The Boy is awake, I am going to tweak my goal. You have to tweak your goals to be successful at them, if you see that no doing so will compromise your success. I still plan to blog/exercise early everyday, but I think putting a 2pm limit on it, is hard. Some days my son doesn't even take a nap until 4pm. I also know that exercising when my hubby is here is A LOT harder, so I think I am going to make his ETA my new goal mark. He usually gets home around 5:30pm. I know if I haven't exercised before he gets home, I resort to squats and/or push ups before bed, when he is already in bed. I think this tweak to my goal is more realistic and will help me to stay successful with the new changes I am trying to incorporate for 2010.

My son took a small nap and I was able to get 32 Wii minutes in on the Wii Fit. I did the skateboarding one and the obstacle course, both, over and over again. I also did an hour of heavy cleaing.

Staying away from sugar is SO MUCH easier at home than it is at work. Home is a controlled environment and I just don't have it here. At work, everyone has it around so it's tough. Today I haven't thought about wanting it at all, so that is good progress. Cutting out the soda has helped me to re-own an old goal of drinking a lot of water a day.

As the fresh beat band sings...it was a great day, the very best day, and nothing could be better.

Make it count!

I can do this. I am a star.

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Monday, January 4, 2010

At least we didn't crash...

Today was so much busier at work than yesterday. We had 5 discharges almost back and then 3 admits almost immediately after. The day went by quickly, which was a blessing both because I was able to finish everything on time and because my body is just so darn tired.

I got home and checked my pedometer to find 4 steps; I left it sitting on my bed. Lovely :). I'm just gonna call it the same as yesterday although I know I walked a heck of a lot more today. All good. I hope I don't forget it again on Wednesday. It makes me so mad when I forget it!

I had a common theme today and it was kinda funny to me--driving at work. Everyone that I transferred in a wheelchair today mentioned my "driving." I guess being a fast walker w/ a wheelchair isn't as fun as I thought it would be? lol. One guy even asked me if I had gotten my license back back from my DUI cause I drive crazy. lol. It's not that bad. (totally joking as I say this next part) You know old people. Everything slows w.a.y. down for them, so they ALL over exaggerated. My response to all of them were pretty much, "at least we didn't crash into anything, right?"

I have tomorrow off, but I have to go back again on Wednesday.

I did good with the sugar and soda although I had HUGE temptation w/ the sugar at work. It was in my face all day and I even went over and started at it for a while. I picked it up and read the ingredients and put it down (first one was "sugar"). A co-worker even teased me for doing that. I'm just glad I was able to push passed it. I really thought for a second I was going to cave. That's all it would have lasted too--a second of fruity-chocolately goodness and a year of guilt.

I am so tired. I fell asleep twice during Heroes, so thank goodness for the DVR.

Off to bed. See you in the morning, hopefully bright and early!

DLTBBB!

I can do this. I am a star.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Short 'n sweet...

Today was a long day and I have to do it all over again tomorrow.

I worked today and am about to jump in the sack. I am exhausted.

Gonna make it short 'n sweet...I walked 14,679 steps (6.95 miles) and did my work thing.

I did well with no sugar/soda today, but there wasn't really any temptation at work. Yaay.

Ok see ya'll tomorrow after work! Take care!

I can do this. I am a star.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

So far so good...

I am really making an effort to blog/exercise early. It's not before 2pm, but we have been pretty busy all day. At least I'm blogging at 3:30pm. When I said "before 2pm" on my day off, I know it's something I am going to have to strive for, rather than a "no sugar or soda" or "exercise everyday" type thing. The fact that I am here now, is progress lol.

I just did 30 Wii Fit minutes. My plan was to do more but the hubby is barking at me because we have more errands to run. I will get back on and finish what I started when we get home from the store and my mother's house. I also want to get on the treadmill.

So far so good on the no sugar/soda thing. Soda really isn't a problem for me, so it's kind of a freebie (?). It doesn't bother me like sugar, but it's a good thing to cut out nonetheless. We even went out for breakfast and my first reaction was to order "the same" as my hubby (diet soda) but I remembered and ordered an iced tea instead. Not my fav, but I used some Splenda and a lemon and it was tolerable (lol). I also had whole grain whole wheat pancakes w/ sugar free syrup, turkey bacon and egg whites.

My plan is to lose more weight this year, than I did last, so I am motivated.

I'll update later with what else I do.

Have a great Saturday! Make it count and don't give up on your goals! Just adjust them to make them "doable" and build from there :).

I can do this. I am a star.

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Friday, January 1, 2010

Day one...MUCH easier said than done

Today was a workday and I walked 14275 steps (6.76 miles). About an hour before my shift ended, they asked me to go be a "sitter" with a patient from the ED, who was a major fall risk. Sitting w/ a patient is nice and all because I get a chance to get off of my feet, but it's so boring mainly because you are watching a sleeping patient (sounds creepy, huh?). I took advantage of this time and quickfired some standing side extensions-100 total broken down into 2 groups of 50 AND some seated leg extensions (also 2 sets of 50). TOTALLY proud of myself. Exercisin' at work.

In regards to my new resolution, to cut out sugar--I failed miserably today. It was Day 1, and MUCH easier said than done. Sugar really is a problem for me. I hate to admit that (I feel so stupid!) but it's true. I wasn't even 10 hours into the new year and blew it. My excuse? I forgot. lol. Seriously! Sugar does that to me. It's like beer goggles but with sugar. We had a pot luck at work for the new year and so everyone brought something. I walked into the break room around 10 am this morning, and as I walked in, the room paled, and this bowl in the middle of the table got extremely bright, kind of like heavenly angels were all sitting in that bowl. FUDGE. My immediate response was to eat a piece, which I did. It was sickly sweet (not the kind of sugar I like) and smacked me back into reality. Then I remembered the resolution, felt bad and called my hubby. He laughed. He knows.

I guess that means 364 days of no sugar? It's really going to be a struggle for me. I really pray that God gives me the strength. It's going to be hard with work--there is ALWAYS something sweet there. That's so hard for me. I really thought that with completing 365 days of consecutive exercise, this no sugar thing would be a piece of cake (no pun intended). I was wrong. How does the song go? "If at first you don't succeed, brush yourself off and try again."

I did however have no soda. I don't think the lack of diet soda lessened the sugar cravings though, although I'm not quite sure if it was more sugar reflex or craving. I'm thinking (and hoping) for the first.

Anyway, I think I did enough counting in 2009. I will keep some sort of a running tally at the end of my blogs or something...I don't know, just for me, cause, well, I'm anal.

That's it! I'm off tomorrow so I plan to start fresh and new. Isn't it funny how it's another day, nothing new, same old, same old, yet my brain acts as though it's the start of something new? lol.

Hope you all had a great New Year. Make some goals! They're good for ya!

I can do this. I am a star.

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